At first I was aghast, I was mortified
When Entertainment Weekly made me swallow my pride
They made it clear that unless I
Wrote them some lame parody
There wouldn't be
A piece on my new DVD
I tried to make... them understand
I am an artist, you can't make me crank this stuff out on demand!
I am not your monkey boy
And you are not the boss of me
But if I have to stroke your egos
For some cheap publicity
I'll write this song... under duress
Just goes to show ya... extortion really works, I guess
You think I'd blow them off and kiss that plug goodbye?
Did you think I'd say no... 'cause I'm such a principled guy?
Oh no, not I
I will comply
Although frankly, I would rather jam a needle in my eye
Can't believe I'd sink this low
To promote my lousy show
Yeah, I'll comply
I will comply
Oy vey