[MRS. LOVETT]
That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him?
[SWEENEY TODD]
Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him
[MRS. LOVETT]
Oh yeah. Of course we could do that
I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him
Seems a downright shame...
[TODD]
Shame?
[MRS. LOVETT]
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it...
[TODD]
Ah!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only p**ycats and toast!
Now a p**y's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!
(simultaneously)
[TODD]
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
[MRS. LOVETT]
Well, it does seem a waste...
[TODD]
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Think about it...
[TODD]
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!
[TODD]
How choice!
How
Rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?
[MRS. LOVETT]
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
[TODD]
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
[TODD]
It's man devouring man, my dear!
[BOTH]
And/Then who are we to deny it in here?
[TODD, spoken]
These are desperate times
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
[TODD]
What is that?
[MRS. LOVETT]
It's priest. Have a little priest
[TODD]
Is it really good?
[MRS. LOVETT]
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
[TODD]
Awful lot of fat
[MRS. LOVETT]
Only where it sat
[TODD]
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
[MRS. LOVETT]
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice
[TODD]
If it's for a price
[MRS. LOVETT]
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!
[TODD]
Anything that's lean?
[MRS. LOVETT]
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
[TODD]
Is that squire, on the fire?
[MRS. LOVETT]
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!
[TODD]
Looks thicker
More like vicar!
[MRS. LOVETT]
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!
[TODD]
The history of the world, my love --
[MRS. LOVETT]
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors!
[TODD]
Is those below serving those up above!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors!
[TODD]
How gratifying for once to know
[BOTH]
That those above will serve those down below!
[TODD]
What is that?
[MRS. LOVETT]
It's fop
Finest in the shop
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!
[TODD]
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier!
[TODD]
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Then actor
It's compacter!
[TODD]
Ah but always arrives overdone!
(spoken)
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!
(sung)
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
[MRS. LOVETT]
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
[TODD]
We'll take the customers that we can get!
[MRS. LOVETT]
High-born and low, my love!
[TODD]
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone
[BOTH]
And to anyone
At all!