[MRS. LOVETT] That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him? [SWEENEY TODD] Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him [MRS. LOVETT] Oh yeah. Of course we could do that I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him Seems a downright shame... [TODD] Shame? [MRS. LOVETT] Seems an awful waste... Such a nice, plump frame Wot's 'is name has... Had... Has Nor it can't be traced... Bus'ness needs a lift Debts to be erased... Think of it as thrift As a gift If you get my drift Seems an awful waste... I mean, with the price of meat What it is When you get it If you get it... [TODD] Ah! [MRS. LOVETT] Good, you got it! Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop! Bus'ness never better using only p**ycats and toast! Now a p**y's good for maybe six or seven at the most! And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste! (simultaneously) [TODD] Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion [MRS. LOVETT] Well, it does seem a waste... [TODD] Eminently practical And yet appropriate as always! [MRS. LOVETT] Think about it... [TODD] Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived Without you all these years, I'll never know! How delectable! Also undetectable! [MRS. LOVETT] Lots of other gentlemen'll Soon be comin' for a shave Won't they? Think of All them Pies! [TODD] How choice! How Rare! For what's the sound of the world out there? [MRS. LOVETT] What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound? [TODD] Those crunching noises pervading the air! [MRS. LOVETT] Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, all around! [TODD] It's man devouring man, my dear! [BOTH] And/Then who are we to deny it in here? [TODD, spoken] These are desperate times Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for! [MRS. LOVETT] Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven! [TODD] What is that? [MRS. LOVETT] It's priest. Have a little priest [TODD] Is it really good? [MRS. LOVETT] Sir, it's too good, at least! Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh So it's pretty fresh [TODD] Awful lot of fat [MRS. LOVETT] Only where it sat [TODD] Haven't you got poet, or something like that? [MRS. LOVETT] No, y'see, the trouble with poet is 'Ow do you know it's deceased? Try the priest! Lawyer's rather nice [TODD] If it's for a price [MRS. LOVETT] Order something else, though, to follow Since no one should swallow it twice! [TODD] Anything that's lean? [MRS. LOVETT] Well, then, if you're British and loyal You might enjoy Royal Marine! Anyway, it's clean Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been! [TODD] Is that squire, on the fire? [MRS. LOVETT] Mercy no, sir, look closer You'll notice it's grocer! [TODD] Looks thicker More like vicar! [MRS. LOVETT] No, it has to be grocer -- It's green! [TODD] The history of the world, my love -- [MRS. LOVETT] Save a lot of graves Do a lot of relatives favors! [TODD] Is those below serving those up above! [MRS. LOVETT] Ev'rybody shaves So there should be plenty of flavors! [TODD] How gratifying for once to know [BOTH] That those above will serve those down below! [TODD] What is that? [MRS. LOVETT] It's fop Finest in the shop And we have some shepherd's pie peppered With actual shepherd on top! And I've just begun -- Here's the politician, so oily It's served with a doily Have one! [TODD] Put it on a bun Well, you never know if it's going to run! [MRS. LOVETT] Try the friar Fried, it's drier! [TODD] No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy! [MRS. LOVETT] Then actor It's compacter! [TODD] Ah but always arrives overdone! (spoken) I'll come again when you have judge on the menu! (sung) Have charity towards the world, my pet! [MRS. LOVETT] Yes, yes, I know, my love! [TODD] We'll take the customers that we can get! [MRS. LOVETT] High-born and low, my love! [TODD] We'll not discriminate great from small! No, we'll serve anyone Meaning anyone [BOTH] And to anyone At all!