Coulson Lives!
That's the Avengers fangirls' song
Coulson lives
Even Whedon got it wrong
Loki stabbed him through the chest with that big knife
But somehow it managed not to take his life
Coulson lives
SHIELD's medics were in time
Coulson lives
If they weren't, t'would be a crime
It turned out that Loki only stabbed a Coulson LMD
Doing roughly the same damage as an arrow in the knee
Plus he's routing WiFi right through Loki's shiv
Coulson lives!
Coulson lives!
That's the fangirls' solemn creed
Coulson lives
For his presence there's much need
Captain Rogers must sign Phil's trading card stash
Not to mention all that Barton/Coulson slash
Loki was pwned
All he impaled was thin air
Phil was cloned
Or he wasn't even there
He's in Portland with that cellist, or in Bangkok or Beirut
He's like Carmen San Diego with a better looking suit
We could throw him off a hundred thousand cliffs
Coulson lives!
Coulson lives
He was gone but he's returned
He was fragged
But another life he's earned
Reincarnated, or brain stored in a jar
Or his voice will play through Tony Stark's new car
He'll come back, as Grey Phoenix one fine dawn
Or as SHIELD's top-ranked Zombie liaison
Maybe he rules some dimension filled with fantasy cliches
Hey, Galactus goes through heralds like Pete Parker through Aunt Mays
So if you see all that fic and say, “What gives?”
Coulson lives!