(talking to myself – )
Everyone there thinks they knows the truth
Everyone dismisses your excuse
They saw the van, they saw your gra**-stained knees
The couple living west up on the hill
Heard the splash when night was gripped with still
And saw the moon was bouncing in the pool
You saw them watching, and you know you did
You saw them see no matter where you hid
You saw them like you saw her hollow eyes…
But keep your own eyes open, toe to steel
Press on forward, focus, steer the wheel
Don't confuse the truth with what they saw
(speaking out loud to myself -)
If Jess were here, then she'd know what to do
She'd tell me to be calm and tell the truth
But she told me not to tell the truth just this one time…
And why am I so anxious and forlorn?
Why am I? I've done nothing wrong!
I've only done as she had always wishedI feel her weight still, heavy in my arms
Just like she used to sleep with peace and calm
And why's that moonlit mist still in my eyes?
What's the truth, and what's reflected blame?
And how do I exude it from my brain?
The blood and water as she left my aching hands…
PULL THIS VAN OVER/DRINK TILL I'M SOBER
SHUTTING MY MIND UP/CLOSING THE COVER
I CAN STILL SMELL HER/WISH I COULD TELL HER
I LOVED HER BEFORE /LIFE WAS su*kED FROM HER
IF I CAME CLEAN HER PARENTS WOULD KILL ME
BEST IF THEY THOUGHT THAT SHE'D RAN OFF WITH ME
FOCUS CONCENTRATE, PUSH ON AS DAYBREAK
TAKES OVER NIGHT AND TAKES OVER MEMORY…
I'm in over my head, I'm slipping much further awake
My best friend is dead, and now there's a ghost in the lake
(me -)
“I'll damp the cloth, and fill the water cup
You need to drink, and dear, you're burning up
Your skin is raw, and blistering and white
Babe, you've not the strength just to get dressed
Dear, you need to see a specialist
I know you don't believe, but babe, it's time…”
(Jess -)
They have no idea what's best for me
The body creates its own remedy
Their cures are all just masks, a waste of time…
It makes no difference, nothing's any good
I can hear them now “we did all that we could”
I'd rather die like this than with a poisoned mind
But I don't want to pa** rotting, boxed, confined
Throw me where my shell can be purified
Give me away like I was never here
Throw me out and let Mother do as she (pleases)
Please, if you love me, Take my dead body
Hand it to nature (so) I can rest quietly
Leave this stupid town, like we always said
Don't tell our families, don't taint their memories
I'm in over my head, I'm slipping much further awake
My best friend is dead, and now there's a ghost in the lake