There's no such thing as a mistake
I used to believe that like it was written down in flames
Burning in my mind is a simple way to say That we're never really at fault
All victims of a game called life
And I found solace in that easy point of view
Cause at 12 years old what else is a boy to do
His life ain't do or die
He's barely old enough to know to use his mind
Then my down the street neighbor committed suicide
I was shocked and when I visited his wake
You're still trying to say there's no such thing as a mistake
He took his own life you're trying to tell me that was god's will
Six years have past and thinking back the pain is raw still
He was just a freshman with tons of things on his mind
I used to see him skateboard through my neighborhood all the time
And I thought that was so cool
So when I finally got some wheels
And he helped me learn how to ollie man that was so ill
We weren't that close but as I recall
There's nothing like a tragedy that make that giant distance seem small
And top of that his rap talent proved its worth even in d**h
Because the night after he died I wrote my first verse
And just like that
I burned a little brighter and the weight of the world seemed a little bit lighter
Even though he had an outlet he still couldn't escape
So when I recite a rhyme I have to push through the pain
For real
Fast forward to age 14, freshman year
I'm thinking like school just ain't for me
Then on one October morning a friend of mine wasn't feeling well
I asked him, he replied one of best friends had just k**ed himself
A separate treatment it planted by the same seed
I wasn't just grieving I was dumbfounded and angry
He was the same age as me and kind to everyone he knew
I couldn't understand why that was a path anyone would choose
More so, I already endored this pain before
As a kid after that first time I thought there couldn't be more
More pain, more suffering
I never thought there come a day
Let alone 2 of my parents wouldn't know what to say
When I would ask them why he did what he did
And that scared me to my core it was sickening as sh**
If everybody spoke to living you can't with their fates
How could blatantly rejecting this gift not be a mistake
Age 15, Soph*more year, September 10th flew by
The day after I remember where and when
In the school library at the start 6th period
A voice came on the intercom sounded somber and serious
I felt that feeling in my core once again
The voice said “All football players report to the gym!”
I got up to go to the bathroom and I can still remember watching every football player just trying to hold it together
Walking up and down the halls
These were kids that I looked up to
And thought of as strong with the mentality of a son zeus
Tears streaming down her cheeks I couldn't tell why
Until I walked back in the library and looked in my best friend's eye
With a crack in her voice she said with a strain
One of her teammates in our grade put a bullet in his brain
Earlier that day and for the rest of it nothing felt right
All I could think about was if anyone could have saved his life
The threat was too large for anybody to mend
In time as so before he put that gun up to his head
I thought back to seeing him in the hallway
Not a week before
And prayed to every god I could've changed his mind
The reason I have for speaking up is subject in debt
Cause I operate out of pa**ion and will
To inspect every perimeter of this phenomenon we call depression
In the desperate hopes that maybe I'll get someone's pain to lessen
See I project a lot of things
Sometimes its tolerance, confidence, vulgarity, sincerity, confidence, vulnerability, verbal agility and all of it is authentic and I will always accept the consequence
Cause to me we all walk this earth pushing boulders
And maybe I've got an angel look down over my shoulder
Maybe I don't but either way I don't have an ego
I have an eagle down through my superbru
Its f**ing evil
I'm not co*ky it's an iblicitory attempt to objectivity
I still exist, there's some lost dreams that got to live in me
I still command the privilege of a heart beat
Someone told to live or harm me I'm here solely to talk and walk
Through each and every roadblock in their lives
Cause if there is even a fraction of a chance that my words will help you to survive
I don't need any other reason to perform my rapid breaths
Every rhyme, every line I'll make sure it's at it's best
Cause if you were trying to reach out and trying to grab a child off a ledge
Wouldn't you want that arm to be the strongest it can
Exactly, so to me there are no throw away bars cause everytime I get the pen I trust their soul to take charge
And if even my lungs burst and I don't make it through a night I'll have died knowing I tried to save a life
The life within our eyes is unparalleled to every degree
But unfortunately we all can feel neglected and weak
We all can get down to that point where what we feel just isn't stoppin'
And that can seem like no other option
I've been rocking on that edge my whole life
And witnessed others that have fallin'
So I can't afford to stop this or stallin'
If there's no such thing as a mistake
Somebody tell me why he hung himself
Why the second kid did the same
And the third kid shot himself
Somebody f**ing tell me in order to discover my pa**ion there had to be a son taken from his mother
Then another one
And another one
Somebody tell me what i've done to deserve my life while those 3 kids all suffer a tons
The only reason I have yet to break is the acknowledgement that there are mistakes
And in their wake we can choose what to do
Hate or love that's why I write with the unsung vengeons
Of every new song every gun
And let every bud in you stand in my way
Know where I'm at
My love is great but My Resolve is forever greater remember that