TJ Snow - My Resolve. lyrics

There's no such thing as a mistake I used to believe that like it was written down in flames Burning in my mind is a simple way to say That we're never really at fault All victims of a game called life And I found solace in that easy point of view Cause at 12 years old what else is a boy to do His life ain't do or die He's barely old enough to know to use his mind Then my down the street neighbor committed suicide I was shocked and when I visited his wake You're still trying to say there's no such thing as a mistake He took his own life you're trying to tell me that was god's will Six years have past and thinking back the pain is raw still He was just a freshman with tons of things on his mind I used to see him skateboard through my neighborhood all the time And I thought that was so cool So when I finally got some wheels And he helped me learn how to ollie man that was so ill We weren't that close but as I recall There's nothing like a tragedy that make that giant distance seem small And top of that his rap talent proved its worth even in d**h Because the night after he died I wrote my first verse And just like that I burned a little brighter and the weight of the world seemed a little bit lighter Even though he had an outlet he still couldn't escape So when I recite a rhyme I have to push through the pain For real Fast forward to age 14, freshman year I'm thinking like school just ain't for me Then on one October morning a friend of mine wasn't feeling well I asked him, he replied one of best friends had just k**ed himself A separate treatment it planted by the same seed I wasn't just grieving I was dumbfounded and angry He was the same age as me and kind to everyone he knew I couldn't understand why that was a path anyone would choose More so, I already endored this pain before As a kid after that first time I thought there couldn't be more More pain, more suffering I never thought there come a day Let alone 2 of my parents wouldn't know what to say When I would ask them why he did what he did And that scared me to my core it was sickening as sh** If everybody spoke to living you can't with their fates How could blatantly rejecting this gift not be a mistake Age 15, Soph*more year, September 10th flew by The day after I remember where and when In the school library at the start 6th period A voice came on the intercom sounded somber and serious I felt that feeling in my core once again The voice said “All football players report to the gym!” I got up to go to the bathroom and I can still remember watching every football player just trying to hold it together Walking up and down the halls These were kids that I looked up to And thought of as strong with the mentality of a son zeus Tears streaming down her cheeks I couldn't tell why Until I walked back in the library and looked in my best friend's eye With a crack in her voice she said with a strain One of her teammates in our grade put a bullet in his brain Earlier that day and for the rest of it nothing felt right All I could think about was if anyone could have saved his life The threat was too large for anybody to mend In time as so before he put that gun up to his head I thought back to seeing him in the hallway Not a week before And prayed to every god I could've changed his mind The reason I have for speaking up is subject in debt Cause I operate out of pa**ion and will To inspect every perimeter of this phenomenon we call depression In the desperate hopes that maybe I'll get someone's pain to lessen See I project a lot of things Sometimes its tolerance, confidence, vulgarity, sincerity, confidence, vulnerability, verbal agility and all of it is authentic and I will always accept the consequence Cause to me we all walk this earth pushing boulders And maybe I've got an angel look down over my shoulder Maybe I don't but either way I don't have an ego I have an eagle down through my superbru Its f**ing evil I'm not co*ky it's an iblicitory attempt to objectivity I still exist, there's some lost dreams that got to live in me I still command the privilege of a heart beat Someone told to live or harm me I'm here solely to talk and walk Through each and every roadblock in their lives Cause if there is even a fraction of a chance that my words will help you to survive I don't need any other reason to perform my rapid breaths Every rhyme, every line I'll make sure it's at it's best Cause if you were trying to reach out and trying to grab a child off a ledge Wouldn't you want that arm to be the strongest it can Exactly, so to me there are no throw away bars cause everytime I get the pen I trust their soul to take charge And if even my lungs burst and I don't make it through a night I'll have died knowing I tried to save a life The life within our eyes is unparalleled to every degree But unfortunately we all can feel neglected and weak We all can get down to that point where what we feel just isn't stoppin' And that can seem like no other option I've been rocking on that edge my whole life And witnessed others that have fallin' So I can't afford to stop this or stallin' If there's no such thing as a mistake Somebody tell me why he hung himself Why the second kid did the same And the third kid shot himself Somebody f**ing tell me in order to discover my pa**ion there had to be a son taken from his mother Then another one And another one Somebody tell me what i've done to deserve my life while those 3 kids all suffer a tons The only reason I have yet to break is the acknowledgement that there are mistakes And in their wake we can choose what to do Hate or love that's why I write with the unsung vengeons Of every new song every gun And let every bud in you stand in my way Know where I'm at My love is great but My Resolve is forever greater remember that