[Spoken Interlude]
For years now there's a story I've wanted to tell
And it's a story that deserves to be told
But I just haven't felt like the world was ready to hear it
I still don't believe the world is ready to hear it
There's too many cowards in the world
But today, I'm gonna take a chance anyway
This is a true story that I made up
And it involves an elderly woman who is deep into her 90's
She's nearing the end of her life
But she doesn't regrеt anything
She's lived a very fulfilling lifе
She's experienced a lot of incredible stuff
She went from not even knowing what cars where
When she was younger
To using cars in her every day life for years
She got to experience the Prohibition, the Moon landing, AOL
She's got to see it all
And now it's starting to come to an end
The curse of all humans is death and it's a natural thing
Or is it?
You see this elderly woman
Has actually been pregnant for almost twenty years now
She wasn't impregnated by a penis or anything
It's not for having a lack of sex
In fact she's actually been very sexually active
Deep into her 70's, 80's, and 90's
She's never stopped fu*kin'
But she wasn't impregnated due to ejaculate and ovaries
You see this woman is special
She's achieved immortality through rebirthing herself
For Millennia now every time she gets into her deep 70's
She gets spontaneously pregnant
And carries for roughly twenty years
After twenty years is up she gives birth to a clone of herself
As a twenty-year-old woman again
And that clone has all the memories of the original husk
So when she gives birth and she's in her deep 90's
She pops out another younger version of herself
Which is a carbon copy of the original
As the original fades off into dust
And you can't even really call it the original anymore
Since she's repeated this process for so many thousands and thousands of years now
Some say she existed long before even the Big Bang had occurred
This mysterious woman continues to live amongst us in secret
But I thought it was time I finally tell her story
Of the first immortal