I used to be a stripper with a bunch of other hoes
Sweatin for a dollar, livin' in squalor
So I moved here with a roomie, started making movies
s**in' dick at parties and hanging out with groupies
Dreaming of a bigger place, saving for a better face
So I post a wanted ad, "looking for a sugar dad"
Pretty soon I'm makin' 6 figures a year
Got my double D's and I'm hangin' with celebrities
Oh oh, oh oh
Sayin' mazel tov to goyas, fist bump with my broyas
It's a celebration b**hes, l'chaim'n to future riches
Thank god this town is kosher, tuchuses on every corner
Ain't your average mother f**er, yeah the chicks are like no other...
Using my cards to kVetch for some shikksas
Schleppin' my sh** to single mixers
Drink matzah soup when I feel blue-ish
Funny thing is, I ain't even Jewish
Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport
The temperature is 75 degrees, sunny, with a slight chance of silicone showers.
Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.
This town is too hard without the aid of pharmaceuticals
I'm gnawing at my fingers, ruining my cuticles.
Wrote six screenplays but haven't sold one
then again this sh** isn't s'posed to be fun.
So I'm workin' on my career, while I'm waiting tables
'Cause that's how we do it in City of Angels.
On the bright side, I just scored a pot license
Said I needed help for my chronic arthritis! Priceless
My name is Muhammed and I drive taxi
Don't f** me with me or I'll get nasty
I came to this city without a bed
Just dollar to my name and a turban on my head
I sell rug in Pakistan
But here they don't like rug, yeah
So I drive your drunk a**, smell you pa** gas
f** you, f** you
You and all your drunk friend, you barf in my cab and then you leave
You don't pay me in cash or you don't give me your sheep
f** you!
Listen to me, you drunk f**!
Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.
Two hands in the air for this giant city,
Street lights, big dreams, they're all lookin' sh**ty
No place in the world that can compare,
Just go smell the stench in the air
Everybody say yeah, yeah (Yeah)
Yeah, yeah (Yeah)
Yeah, yeah (Yeah)
Yeah
Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.
Welcome to Hollywood, Hollywood
The city of the rich and misunderstood
Don't stay too long or you'll get a disease
Here in the city of angel sleaze.