Mid life crisis always comes in threes
The gym, the convertable, the secretary
He met her in one of those after work bars
She liked vintage men in new model cars
He was a fool and I'm not saying she was thick
But she made the digestion of chewing gum seem quick
With a cha**is like that
He wasn't gonna haggle on the price
He was roadk** in her headlights
In This Surface Paradise
This must be just like living in Surface Paradise
This must be just like living in Surface Paradise
After five days of five times a day
He was looking like the picture of Dorian Gray
She had a brazillian
His face was Vermillion
At this rate he'd be needing a doctor's prescription
She fixed his thinning hair with a gallon of goo
She bought him jeans that you wear like your taking a poo
If he wore a sign that said paedophile he'd catch less eyes
In This Surface Paradise
This must be just like living in Surface Paradise
This must be just like living in Surface Paradise
Its not soul, its solipsism
Its not soul, its solipsism
Yeah sooner or later the honeymoon ends
When the older guy meets the younger girls friends
At a dance party to ring in the new year
He felt as old as Slim Dusty in this club with no beer
Its not soul, its solipsism
In This Pub with No Beer
They all spoke SMS
They soon forgot his name
Each word ate the next
Like an underwater food chain
Though not literary they seemed fond of a simile
He'd never heard the word "like" used so frequently
Its not soul, its solipsism
In This Pub with No Beer
She said take this bikkie you'll soon feel part of the scene
It wasn't like one he'd seen in Assorted Cremes
Soon he was dancing around like a fool
With a sudden insatiable yearning for Cool
Clear, Non Sparkling, Expensive, Bottled
Water
Water
Cool, Clear, Water
He just took something he shouldn't oughta
He's in control, well kind of sorta
All he needs is cool, water
He's gonna go broke from what he bought her
She's young enough to be his daughter
All he needs is cool, clear, water
He threw up on one girl
And groped at least three
Stood on the dancefloor
With his pants round his knees
Later the bouncers played pinata with his face
It was the one familiar thing about the place
I wanna
I wanna
I wanna go home
I wanna
I wanna
I wanna go home
I wanna
I wanna
I wanna go home
I wanna
I wanna
I wanna go home
We are all of us in the gutter
Some of us are looking at the stars
He was looking for his teeth
down among the parked cars
That bridgework cost him five grand
On his dentist's advice
Now spat out with his pride
In This Surface Paradise
In This Surface Paradise
In This Surface Paradise
In This Surface Paradise
In This Surface Paradise
In This Surface Paradise
In This Surface Paradise...