Brian:
Princeton!
Princeton:
Yeah
Brian:
Listen, buddy, nobody's seen ya for two weeks
What's up with that?
Princeton:
I went to work for a temp agency, and they
Fired me for being too depressing on the phone
I maxed out my cards, I'm two months behind
In rent, I totally messed up my personal life
Oh, and Brian - I still haven't found my purpose!
Brian:
All right. Get off your a** and stop worrying!
Everyone's getting together to mess around the city today
Princeton:
Have fun!
Brian:
When I say everyone, that includes you!
There is life outside your apartment
I know it's hard to conceive
But there's life outside your apartment
And you're only gonna see it if you leave
There is cool sh** to do
But it can't come to you
And who knows, dude
You might even score!
There is life outside your apartment
But you gotta open the door!
Princeton:
No, thanks, I'm staying in!
Brian:
Don't tell me I gotta force you
Princeton:
Sorry!
Brian:
All right, everyone! He's resisting!
All but Princeton:
There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside your apartment!
There's a pigeon
Squashed on the street
Christmas Eve:
Ew
Brian:
There's a girl pa**ing by
Nicky:
No I think it's a guy
All but Princeton:
And a homeless man
Who only wants to
Buy something to eat!
Sorry, can't help you
We could go to the zoo!
Trekkie Monster:
Pick up girls at NYU!
Brian:
We could sit in the park smoking pot!
Christmas Eve:
Or not
All but Princeton:
There is life outside your apartment
Princeton:
Well, I guess I'll give it a shot
All:
There is life outside your apartment
I know -
There is life outside your apartment
Voice #1:
I'm gonna jump!
All:
Don't do it!
Voice #1:
Okay
All:
There is cool sh** to do
But it can't come to you
So come on -
Voice #2:
Get out of the way a**hole!
Princeton:
f** you!
All:
There is life outside your apartment
Oh, you never know
What's around the bend
You could win the lotto
Or make a friend...
Guys:
Take her home to see your apartment!
Lucy:
Do you wanna feel special?
I can see that you do
Well, I can make you feel
Special
If you let me feel you
Guys:
She'll feel you!
Lucy:
Where's your pad?
Princeton:
Not too far
Guys:
We could call you a car
Princeton:
We'll be fine, thank you! See ya!
Christmas Eve:
Hope you don't get gonorrhea!
All:
There is life outside your apartment
Princeton/Lucy:
But now it's time to go home
All:
There is life outside your apartment
Trekkie Monster:
Me going home now
Princeton/Lucy:
It's time to go home!
Trekkie Monster:
That's where me gonna go!
Lucy:
I can make you feel special
Trekkie Monster:
That's where me gonna go!
All:
There is life outside your apartment
Trekkie Monster:
Me going home now
That's where me gonna go!
Princeton/Lucy:
But now it's time to go home
Trekkie Monster:
For p**n!