"You don't know me at all" she said
I thought that she was messing with my head
Of course I know her. Christ almighty!
I've known her since 1990
But then she starts telling me stuff I don't know
Like she's got a secret lover and an extra toe
Swear on the ground below her and the sky above her
Never knew about the toes and the secret lover
Six toes and a secret lover
You might think you know about the women in your life
Mother, sister, girlfriend, daughter, wife
Never mind that receptionist at work
With the funny haircut and the worrying smirk
You might think that you know 'em and you might be wrong
Maybe the signs were there all along
Phone on silent, feet undercover
Six toes and a secret lover!
Six toes and a secret lover
So if you've got a darling, check her toes
Regularly in case another one grows
Talk to her, get into her mind
Otherwise you never know what you might find
Extra appendages, unusual habits
Top hats containing rabbits
There's always one thing or another
Like six toes and a secret lover
Six toes and a secret lover