On the way to El Paso
I smoked my weight in cigarettes
And then we played at a sh**ty show
In front of no one
At the house of rock n roll
And then I sat in a parked car
For an hour while my friends sat in the bar
Getting caught by state police
And I just laughed
As I ducked down in my seat
In an attempt to make me laugh
(??) tore all my cigarettes in half
So I sprayed him with Febreeze
Since he has asthma
Since then he hasn't f**ed with me
We finally made it to New York City
In my opinion the pizza still tastes sh**ty
And I don't care for broadway shows
And all the kids who say
Why don't you just go back home
Then I cried like a little girl
I pissed and moaned and called back home
And they said "Son, sometimes life's not fair
But if you stand up straight and brush your hair
Quit all your sh**ty bands
And join the army
That's when you'll learn to be a man"
That's when I ran
Back to my friends who were in the van
And I begged just let me stay
I'll stop complaining
And I'll just shut up and play
So it always feel like home
You'll wander through this life alone
And I learned to love the road
And if I hate it
Nobody has to know