Mrs. Magician - I Hate Tour lyrics

On the way to El Paso I smoked my weight in cigarettes And then we played at a sh**ty show In front of no one At the house of rock n roll And then I sat in a parked car For an hour while my friends sat in the bar Getting caught by state police And I just laughed As I ducked down in my seat In an attempt to make me laugh (??) tore all my cigarettes in half So I sprayed him with Febreeze Since he has asthma Since then he hasn't f**ed with me We finally made it to New York City In my opinion the pizza still tastes sh**ty And I don't care for broadway shows And all the kids who say Why don't you just go back home Then I cried like a little girl I pissed and moaned and called back home And they said "Son, sometimes life's not fair But if you stand up straight and brush your hair Quit all your sh**ty bands And join the army That's when you'll learn to be a man" That's when I ran Back to my friends who were in the van And I begged just let me stay I'll stop complaining And I'll just shut up and play So it always feel like home You'll wander through this life alone And I learned to love the road And if I hate it Nobody has to know