[Intro]
Ladies and gentlemen
I'm extremely proud and the last stop is extremely proud to present: Mitch Hedberg!
[Mitch]
I have to record the CD, so I have to tell all the jokes I have
I've never recorded a CD before, I've told a lot of these jokes before. Ha ha ha ha, but I gotta put em on a CD now, see?
It's all gonna spread it out
All these jokes on a CD right here
These are the CD jokes
Thought of it today, I whittled the list down today
These are the jokes that I could think of today, which means these are the CD jokes
I might think of another one that won't be on this list, and I might throw it in, in a moment of spontaneity that you won't be able to detect
Cause you won't notice that it's not on the list
But I will be proud of the spontaneity
And you'll see it in my stride
So don't f** up the ba** tonight, Chuck
Cause we're on a CD here
So f**in keep it, keep it goin. Don't f** up a scale. These jokes all gonna go right here
So I wish I could play Little League now, I'd kick some f**in a**
I'd be way better than before
Backup now? All right
That joke kicked off the CD right there
Kinda weak man
I got a ant farm, but them fellas didn't grow sh**
They'll buy some carrots maybe for me
I like carrots
I dressed up for the CD