Mitch Hedberg - The CD Jokes lyrics

[Intro] Ladies and gentlemen I'm extremely proud and the last stop is extremely proud to present: Mitch Hedberg! [Mitch] I have to record the CD, so I have to tell all the jokes I have I've never recorded a CD before, I've told a lot of these jokes before. Ha ha ha ha, but I gotta put em on a CD now, see? It's all gonna spread it out All these jokes on a CD right here These are the CD jokes Thought of it today, I whittled the list down today These are the jokes that I could think of today, which means these are the CD jokes I might think of another one that won't be on this list, and I might throw it in, in a moment of spontaneity that you won't be able to detect Cause you won't notice that it's not on the list But I will be proud of the spontaneity And you'll see it in my stride So don't f** up the ba** tonight, Chuck Cause we're on a CD here So f**in keep it, keep it goin. Don't f** up a scale. These jokes all gonna go right here So I wish I could play Little League now, I'd kick some f**in a** I'd be way better than before Backup now? All right That joke kicked off the CD right there Kinda weak man I got a ant farm, but them fellas didn't grow sh** They'll buy some carrots maybe for me I like carrots I dressed up for the CD