Old Man Strong
Bobby! Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning
Bobby
He's my Pa, Ms. Pennywise. Can't he come in for free? Just this once?
Penny
Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong. No one gets in for free
Every morning you all come here. And every morning some of you got
Reasons why ya ain't gonna pay. And I'm here to tell ya ya is gonna pay!
Old Man Strong
In the name of God, Penny, what difference could it make?
Penny
What difference?!
"Times are hard"
"Our cash is tight"
"You've got no right"
I've heard it all before
"Just this once"
Is once too much
Cause once they've onced
They'll want to once once more
I run the only toilet
In this part of town, you see
So, if you've got to go
You've got to go through me
It's a privilege to pee
Water's worth its weight
In gold these days
No more bathrooms
Like in olden days
You come here and pay a fee
For the privilege to pee
Twenty years we've had the drought
And our reservoirs have all dried up
I take my baths now in a coffee cup
I boil what's left of it for tea
And it's a privilege to pee
The politicians in their wisdom saw
That there should be a law
The politicians taxed the toilets
And made illegal
Public urination and defecation
So, come and give your coins to me
Write your name here in the record book
The authorities will want to look
If you've been regular with me
If you've paid the proper fee
For the privilege to pee
Bobby
But Ms. Pennywise -
Penny
I said no buts, Bobby. You're a sweet lookin' boy and I likes to keep
You around, but this main ain't comin' in without payin'. Not this time
Old Man Strong
I can't wait much longer, Bobby. There's no tellin' what I might do!
Penny
You think you've got
Some kind of right?
The Poor
Kind of right, kind of right!
Penny
You think you'll come in here and go for free?
The Poor
Snag a freebie!
Penny
The only thing you'll get it "no" for free!
The Poor
Negatory!
Penny
I'm a business gal, you see
The Poor
Business gal you see!
Penny
I sell the
Privilege to pee! The Poor
It's a privilege to pee
Penny
The good Lord made us
So we'd piss each day
Until we piss away
The good Lord made sure
That what goes in men
Must soon come out again
So you're no different then
From lowly me
The Poor
Me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me!
Bobby
But, Ms. Pennywise -
Old Man Strong
That's enough, Bobby
Penny
And I think I'll charge you twice
Old Man Strong
No need to jeopardize your position
Penny
Or better yet, have you arrested
Old Man Strong
I'm through with all this, you see
Penny
Since you prefer the law gets tested
Old Man Strong
Scrapin' cash three times a day
Penny
And in Urinetown you'll see
Old Man Strong
Crazy with the nitrates half the time
Penny
Why it's dumb to fight with me
Old Man Strong
It's no way to live, I tells ya. No way to live