Ken Jennings - It's A Privilege To Pee lyrics

Old Man Strong Bobby! Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning Bobby He's my Pa, Ms. Pennywise. Can't he come in for free? Just this once? Penny Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong. No one gets in for free Every morning you all come here. And every morning some of you got Reasons why ya ain't gonna pay. And I'm here to tell ya ya is gonna pay! Old Man Strong In the name of God, Penny, what difference could it make? Penny What difference?! "Times are hard" "Our cash is tight" "You've got no right" I've heard it all before "Just this once" Is once too much Cause once they've onced They'll want to once once more I run the only toilet In this part of town, you see So, if you've got to go You've got to go through me It's a privilege to pee Water's worth its weight In gold these days No more bathrooms Like in olden days You come here and pay a fee For the privilege to pee Twenty years we've had the drought And our reservoirs have all dried up I take my baths now in a coffee cup I boil what's left of it for tea And it's a privilege to pee The politicians in their wisdom saw That there should be a law The politicians taxed the toilets And made illegal Public urination and defecation So, come and give your coins to me Write your name here in the record book The authorities will want to look If you've been regular with me If you've paid the proper fee For the privilege to pee Bobby But Ms. Pennywise - Penny I said no buts, Bobby. You're a sweet lookin' boy and I likes to keep You around, but this main ain't comin' in without payin'. Not this time Old Man Strong I can't wait much longer, Bobby. There's no tellin' what I might do! Penny You think you've got Some kind of right? The Poor Kind of right, kind of right! Penny You think you'll come in here and go for free? The Poor Snag a freebie! Penny The only thing you'll get it "no" for free! The Poor Negatory! Penny I'm a business gal, you see The Poor Business gal you see! Penny I sell the Privilege to pee! The Poor It's a privilege to pee Penny The good Lord made us So we'd piss each day Until we piss away The good Lord made sure That what goes in men Must soon come out again So you're no different then From lowly me The Poor Me Lowly me Lowly me Lowly me Lowly me! Bobby But, Ms. Pennywise - Old Man Strong That's enough, Bobby Penny And I think I'll charge you twice Old Man Strong No need to jeopardize your position Penny Or better yet, have you arrested Old Man Strong I'm through with all this, you see Penny Since you prefer the law gets tested Old Man Strong Scrapin' cash three times a day Penny And in Urinetown you'll see Old Man Strong Crazy with the nitrates half the time Penny Why it's dumb to fight with me Old Man Strong It's no way to live, I tells ya. No way to live