(Phone ringing) Hello?
Hey Joey, you comin' to this party?
Uh, yeah, I might, you know who's driving?
You are, you are, you are, you are!
[Hook]
We staying sober at the house party [x4]
Sober, sober, sober, sober [x4]
[Verse 1]
8:32 on a Friday night
Got my Netflix on, and a bowl of ice
Cream, you know your boy love that mint chocolate chip
All a sudden feel a vibrate on my hip
My dog Sean calls me up, say he got a plan
What you wanna do, son? Get partyin'!
Grab some brews and some chips, and I'm ready to go
Before I hang up he says “dude, you should know
This party's a ways out, and a cab costs too much
I was wondering if you'd drive?” Aw, shucks
I tell him I don't wanna, but I got no choice
Not gonna ruin the night for my girls and boys
So I put the chips down, refridge the brew
Throw a bu*ton-down on, and gather up the crew
Put my stunna shades back, won't need ‘em now
But I'm gonna make the most of this night somehow
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
Walk into the house, and it's already kickin'
Ba** on the speakers, red cups be flippin'
Yager, patron, hennessy, too
Take all of those shots, I'm cool wit water du
Drunk kid just fell through the wall
Like literally, there's a human-sized hole
Look up, dude on the chandelier
Walked into a bedroom, “you having s** in here?”
These kids are faded, it's a pretty ugly scene
A girl stumbles into my arms, tryna' kiss on me
Lost track of the people that I came here with
Now I'm stuck between two folks discussing politics
Excuse myself and I head into the kitchen
A bad idea, there's a girl in there b**hin'
‘Bout her boyfriend, he's somewhere off gettin' high
So she takes another shot before she starts to cry
[Verse 3]
“Best night ever!” the people were shouting
I was doing alright, but the best? I doubt it
Pa**ed out on the couch, even a couple in the yard
Gotta clear these beer bottles around my car
So it's Saturday now, and I'm getting all the texts
“Feel bad,” “ughhhh,” “did you walk in on me having s**?”
The turning stomachs, the pounding head
I just wait for the impending moment of dread
Wait a minute...I'm not hungover at all, sweet!
[Alternate Hook x2]
We stayed sober at the house party [x4]
Sober, sober, sober, sober [x4]