i have come close to s**ing my own dick
but have inevitably failed
every time
one gets so close, and then the pain sets in
it is like a kind of sharp spoon or something
digging into your back
trying to scoop out something that is not there to be found
“if only my dick were an inch longer,” i have thought
but it is of no use
i have practiced stretching and i have read fiction books
about people who have allegedly done it,
but a book is not what is or was
a book is just a story
and so now i try to persuade other people to s** my dick
or give me a kiss
or sit with me
or talk with me
or walk with me
or something
and i do this while knowing that
all relationships are, to some degree, a power struggle
and that the power gets moved around from time to time
is what keeps things going.
an example of this would be how tonight
i wanted to see you so badly
but you had other plans with other people
or something.
i have tried thrusting my penis into the dirty c*nt of power
and tearing it to shreds
but my penis was not large enough.
i have tried giving a piece of my penis to everyone,
so as not to be discriminatory or
hierarchical or
something
but my penis was not strong enough.
‘is my penis inadequate'
‘who will nurture an inadequate penis like mine'