[Intro]
Dude, I hate when you have to readjust your belt in public
People know that you were just masturbating
[Verse 1]
b**h I know Pi, to infinity places
Got girls, b**h. Take a look at my braces
My dick gets hard like its calculus
I look for dates at Toys "R" Us
It's a party in my room when I'm watching p**n
Dress so sharp that you think I'm a thorn
I'm an elf lord, b**h. Wanna' join my guild?
If you don't play hard then you're gonna' get k**ed
Get thrilled. Your p**y gets filled
Got so much ram, take a look at my build
Everybody in the room is looking at me
Poison your water with Zyklon B
Got a gun, it's what I do for fun
I spent 48 hours looking at the sun
There's hair on my chest, get ready to hunt
Use my fingers to count your c*nt
If its raining, I use my windshield wipers
Just can't f** you if you don't wear diapers
All I want to do is taste your tonsils
Call that a bo*er? I call it a fossil
[Verse 2]
Your p**y's so rare that I heard it moo
I'll f** a dog and I'll f** you to
Go to an asylum, I'm insane
Got plenty of friends, they're in my brain
Do what I say, who*e. I'm Simon
And if you talk back I'll break your hymen
Is there a magnet in your p**y?
Cause my dick is made of steel
I'll eat that girl out like a 3-course meal
[Hook]
I got female troubles, looks like I got to leave her
f** that, man. I'll punch her beaver
That's animal abuse, I'll f**ing turn you into juice
That's what your b**hes get when your p**y gets loose
(Yeah)
[Verse 3]
So what'd you say? You sound retarded
I f**ed Grandpa, he's departed
I f** ghosts, it paranormal
If I get horny I'll f** a wormhole
Dress up like elves, b**h. Lets LARP
Splash that sh** like a Magikarp
STFU, you think this is a joke?
I'll go in your ovaries and eat your yolk
I'm I doctor, I'll give you cancer
I got moves like a f**ing dancer
Tie your shoes, tripping on life
What should I put in my a**? A knife?
Get in the rape zone -- I mean my lab
I'm inside a dog, it feels fab'
Get down in this hizzle, Oscar Wilde
Came to mom, I'm her child
Now I'm cum in you, make you preggers
My dad always said, "don't talk to n******gs"
Cousin is pregnant, doesn't know it's mine
If I had c**aine I'd snort a line
Don't move a muscle, be counted time
Got to move fast, like Sonic
Quick! Use my dick to attack
Restraint morals is what I lack
Look at me, I can come with no hands
I sent a random note with demands
I just can't stop, I'm on a role
I'm God, I'm horny and I'll f** your soul
(Yeah b**hes)
[Hook]
I got female troubles, looks like I got to leave her
f** that, man. I'll f**ing punch her beaver
That's animal abuse, I'll f**ing turn you into juice
That's what your b**hes get when your p**y gets loose
There's not use, I'm not kidding
Don't make me commit rape
The say they've got evidence; they have me on tape
I can fake an orgasm day or night, it's not right
So I punch girls because they're easier to fight
Just punch them right in the c*nt, that'll show 'em