[Verse 1: Jesus Peace]
As of late, I've been feeling more indifferent than ever
Just got back from New York, ain't that big a' difference in weather
Whether it's hot or not, eye gotta focus on getting it
Better get it, bet it, flip it
The more finessing & fitness, the better
The bettor been back and forth on the bus, f** it, flick it to Bettis
And I been back and forth with my ex like f** it
I'm feeling vendettas
f** it, I'm feeling to dead her
f**ing came home just to witnessed a letter
About an overdraft fee, how the f** I turn into the debtor?
Probably from escorting my ex
To intimate settings in intricate sweaters
Speaking of which, we ain't getting no better
But I tried, oh I tried, now I'm tired, I retire
What's required for her
& White America to give me some credit?
A suit and tithes won't fix the debt on my debit
Lord knows I'm underestimated, overlooked, and underrated
f** that, all 3 claims are understatements
Got dirty money from under the table showing up on the statements and I'm laid up under statements
I'm trying to be overpaid and under famous
I've been overhearing people claiming they the sh**
When they just under an*s
Just tumblr famous
I'm in a proper suite fulfilling prophecy
Check any list of prophets and see I'm under Amos
Last year, I overstayed my welcome in Jersey City
Tried starting a team but they abandoned the dream
And left all of their jerseys with me
Really didn't wanna have to go for it alone
But I guess sometimes a player just got to score on his own
Maybe they were scared of my drive and knew it was just a matter of time before I dropped 84 in the zone
Ask your girl, I've never been scared to head for the hole
First the head, then the whole thing
Some say it's a “ho” thing
But it's all subjective or simply deflection
How women act when I see em' never seems to reflect what they sent in the message
Nobody practices what they preach; not even baptists and that's why I'm headed in a different direction
I would've choked and then died had I not swallowed my pride to make some different connections
Just signed to RED, man this contract is a curse and a blessing
Trying some new methods
Man the old me was immersed in depression
Dropping “Drowning” this year
And trust me it's diverse and refreshing
It's been like 3 years since I started that track, the first verse is a stepping stone towards imminent progression
I thought of it back when I thought I had all the answers to my immanent questions
Now my e-mails filled with tons of castings and nudes
Which are both underwhelming
It's just potential payments, pretty p**y's and b**bs
Which are all quite compelling
Despite the fact I find money repulsive
And women's fear quite repelling
Not sure if this is a verse, a poem or just a story I'm telling
It turned into a rhyming tangent about some things I've been dwelling on
f**ing sick of this telephone
I've been yelling on and on
About how we need to excel
Accelerated breathing whenever I hit my ex cell
Thinking to myself “breathe; Inhale then exhale, Jesus
Peace is what you need just because you're in hell
Don't mean you should give your ex hell."
f** it, her lies blowing up
Her line's blowing up
Like a d-boy with a Nextel
Telling her “whoever's next, tell them you overlooked almost everything I saw in you”
Concerned about your sadistic characteristics
While complete strangers “aww-ing” you
I'm convinced that you love me the most when I'm all in you which is ironic since I'm all in you
24/7, 365, Rebecca stays on my mind
Mind you, resentment is all I find
But when I'm behind you, your cum is all on my thighs
The thought of f**ing you got me like “OH MY GOD!
I miss f**ing you”
I been loving you, how the f** can you ignore the gifts in the present & dwell on the past that's been bugging you
Your gift is your presence, which mean your gift is my present, plus I almost drop tears whenever I'm hugging you
I've got you so open in so many aspects
From the gaping hole under your a** crack
After throwing that a** back
To your brain filled with unknown tactics from Aztecs
Your mind is ajar and I'm trying to fill it with more than just a**umptions and hashtags
I got “jealous” one time before over Keith and Tafari not realizing that besides you, nothing's coming before me
Planned out a future beside you; nothing's ending our story
We been through too much
You've been through too much
I've been through too much
I been for you too much
I bend for you too much
I vent for you too much
I vent to you too much
Ignoring all these calls, I press end for you too much
That day you asked me to leave, I went for you; 2 months
In Harlem and rules still got bent for you too much
f**ed you on my roommates bed and didn't give 2 f**s
I stayed broke just to stay high, I got bent with you too much
To this day, I think I've been with you too much
But still I stay until we master every element
I wanna bend with you too much
If you had just grown up I could've been with you...truth s**s
With that being said, what if the truth stuck?
How many flowers have I given you?
It's clear I want you to flourish
How many hours have I given you?
It's clear I've wanted to nourish every inch of your soul
So I'm trying to walk in your shoes without wearing your soles. Solely focused on you. I'm not indulged in these “hoes”
Ain't ran through sh** with my woes
Woe is me, this poetry won't mean sh** as a whole
Since I mentioned you though and though I used the word first
I'll still pay homage to Drake and J. Cole
For the popular term and those two lines in this flow
My drive is back and I'm in my lane for life
Won't cross the two lines on this floor
Though it was fire I wrote
I dropped two lines once before because sometimes you just simply have to revise what you know
You just a liar, what you know?
You trust in lies, what you know?
You paying tithes, what you know?
You dressed in ties, what you know?
I've lost my mind trying to win
While settling for ties, what you know?
I vowed to merge two vowels
But if it can't be “U” & “I”, what YOU for?
An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind and people still seeking revenge to be fine, what you 4?
What you know?!
Did you know that religion rakes in billions without paying taxes?
As if “GOD” gotta pay bills, they been fooling your a**es
That same “GOD” pa**ed a bill to legally keep my gra** lit
The gas hit so good, it made me write like Gü' Gra** did
Keeping their own lawn green while they destroy other gra**es
See, they're impairing your vision
While they selling you gla**es
Changing trends fast while making you slow like mola**es
The “stand your ground” law is now moving the ma**es
Since it isn't so relevant to humans with melanin
sh**, we may as well shoot back at they a**es
It's forever f** the Feds and every question they ask us
I'm fractious
What you know?!
I ain't spoke to my mother in weeks
We've been growing apart
Our relationship's fractured
And apart from the fact that she's weak
She shot a hole in my heart
Hard wars are worth winning
Been at war with earth's women
Where are my Purple Hearts?
They say “home's in the heart”
And if that's truly the case, then my home's in the art
Became fascinated with the end
Cuz' I've been bored from the start
Lately, life has been dim
So dim, that I can't tell my enemies & homies apart
A real friend would understand
That you can't simultaneously suppress & support
You supposed to want to ascend with me
When I shoot up the charts
I'm an a**a**in with pa**ion
It's in my creed to post up at the top
I'm hungry for everything on the menu
A la mode, a la carte
Escargot, and a tart
From Toulouse to play her part
And I pray she's not to loose
I'm in this sh** for the gold
And my goal is not to lose
And my soul can't be sold
I'll tell the devil to “pay dues”
Pay day means my pay due
Watch em fold like some clothes
When choppas spray like bidets do
If I don't see every dollar on the same day it's due
Last month I made a move
That had me gone for a day or 2
Stacked up like a K or 2
1 more and I'll be hanging with the rest of the strangest fruits
So I'm finna' stack 47 more and invest in a thing or 2
Ain't seen my brothers in a minute
Tryn' pay all of their tuitions;
Kai, Donyae and Daiyah too
This isn't destiny
I made it so this is exactly what I was made to do
I've been through sour situations all my life
Do I look minute made to you?
I've been through hell and back
And I'm just happy I made it through
But I still think heaven's overrated
And religion's been outdated
Since day 1 we ain't have a clue
As to who the f** we been praying to
Teachers thought I never paid attention
But I guess I failed to mention
They just weren't the ones I would pay it to
Never paid attention to what they would say in school
I resented it all and missed out but thats just what phases do
We made influenced choices that
Just so happen to take us through
Life and put us in different places too
I always paid attention to my latest boo
And she never went broke from being paid in full
I'd acknowledge her flaws and embrace ‘em too
But the ladies were lazy, so I'd chase em too
Not believing that chasing women makes a fool
Until I realized I was chasing fools
Like: Things I knew at 9 is what amazes you?
You gave me p**y and power
After we chilled for an hour
Damn it's crazy what simple phrases do
That rhyme scheme went on for like a decade or two
I tried to make it smooth in hopes this sh** at least gets me buzzing underground like cicadas do
So let the praises through
Since the praise is due
I want all the praise
I want all the pay
Where the hell is my money!?
n***a ándale
My n***as on the way
You n***as in the way
You n***as on today
Our n***as in today's paper but you'll both be gone tomorrow
Now ain't that a strong cliche'
Clinching every playoff berth in every league possible
And when autumn returns, I'll still leap and leave obstacles
With notes on how to fall back
After you've been deemed phenomenal
Was always deemed as the prodigal son
Never the probable son
The laudable son
Or the knowledgeable son
I did my best to stay away from the apocryphal ones
That have stories for days; you know the impossible ones
The improbable ones and the implausible ones
Since 6 I had to be the responsible one
Since my mom was 26 and the irresponsible one
And she still seems to be the insoluble one
The very volatile one
Easy to bend but not easy to mend
Her actions taught me not to dwell
Since all things in life have to come to an end
I watched her endure a plethora of life's plights
And she still won't make amends
Not with others but with herself
That's how you grow and ascend
She's not religious or employed
But all she knows is depend
Depend on a man, depend on a friend
She manipulated her fam and then depended on them
They returned the favor right back
Because my fam likes revenge
And then they all wonder why the fam never blends well
Oh well, we all die alone in the end
Ending this sh** with some insight on my s** life
And some things I learned from somebody
I may not see till' the next life
Like how college ain't for everyone
I could never be stressed, tight
Or depressed from some a**ignments
And tests that could cause me to miss out on my best nights
Watched Lewicki drop so many tears
She could've filled up the bed twice
But despite her wet sheets, I'd still make up her bed nice
And make sure her heads nice and when her head is right
I make her play possum and smile
Pratt's primrose princess seems to be blossoming now
And she's realized that she's the babe that posses the power
To shatter any labyrinth she comes across in under an hour
She's one of the brightest girls I've come across
Not like the ones I tend to run across while stuck in rush hour
Waited patiently to know you
While they rush to de-clothe you
Tripping over their own feet like they tripping off powder
I'm glad my presence and our past has you feeling empowered
Hope you're still getting baked, I miss the cake and the flour
I miss you, Jordan, Annabelle, and Di from the 6 too
The issue was we were blind
And didn't know what we'd find when we scoured
And now it feels like 24/7, I'm the man of the hour
I guess spring has much more to offer
Than just showers and flowers
Views from the Volkswagen while traveling down the road
And not even a week after meeting
You were already down to roll
And you still down for whenever a n***a is down to roll
That car will smell like a n***a forever
Since I'm always down to pose
As a role model for hoes
Who still ain't got no one to hold
You're still quick to try and get a hold of me
Even after being denied the privilege
To be the person holding me
You still don't understand
How my ex could have such a hold on me
After all the burns she left
And over text, was still scolding me
You've cut me off so many times
And made many claims that you were over me
And my ex did the same sh**
Which shows neither of you are over me
Because here we are in the same sh**
We friends again, and again
Lighting up in the same whip
For the 4th time you've invited me on the same trip
To visit the south for a few days
Feels like I'm rolling the same clip
And I'm tired of all these actors always saying the same sh**
But with this one, there is much potential
Hidden in the same mist where Haku would use mirrors as mirages to make sure he can't miss
And I can't miss Marley as much as you do
I can't love you hardly as much as you love me
But even in the midst of things
It's clear you were sent by beings above me
You let us have fun
Even when you're short on lettuce
And I'm low on my funds
I feel more clever than ever
When I come up with these puns
I'm notoriously smoking L's till' bud is all in my bun
DO YOU GET THE BIG PICTURE?
f** it, I still got many more paintings to come
No more painters restraining me, just one making me cum
You told me I could have head or p**y whenever I want
But what I want is for you to wear your crown
Without dropping it once
Hoping this pa**age of our past could act as a detente
And things never again get as bad your aunt
That little light in you, that's what I want you to flaunt
Because the sun will still shine once the reigning is done
I'm on some next sh**
So let's fast forward way past my s** list
Right now I'm s**less
Just know I got memorable membrane
And some insane dick game
I'm not one to play with; nor mess with
I'll be 21 in June & already made my d**h wish
Which was to dead every f** boy like the Jaguars did Leftwich
Which was the right decision
A new leader emerged with more power and nice precision
To guide the Knights & Christians
In the night to listen
To themselves instead of “GOD”
And utilize heightened senses
And since things are so bad now
L'll create a new righteous system
But first I gotta conjure up new commandments
And write these scriptures
In a holy book solely for me to follow
Maybe I'll write this in em
You create your own Bible