Instrumental: Sunbeams by J.Dilla
[Intro]
{Sigh}
Alright, let's do this for real now
Let's go
Yeah, yep
Yeah, yeah, yep
(This is gonna sound like every other mix-tape but
I just need to get this off right now)
[First Verse]
I'm feeling these good vibes/ I'm tryna get involved
Replaying this Dilla tape/ rewind/ reload
Revealing my inner state/ I was frozen
Cold-hearted and broken in a wicked place
Mentally/ drained of all my energy
Empty at the thought of things that used to hype me up
Now they get to me…
The second these events occurred it left me out of breath
And I'd expect the worst always weighing on me heavily
Thinking I'd never see the man I once envisioned as a kid
When I was little I was wishing to get bigger so I could leave school
I hated it/ Uni made me feel more like a human being
But my school made me a prisoner
But don't get me wrong I'm thankful to my parents
Forking money out to put me there
I made some mates I value still
Apologies from me cause I feel like I don't really make that fully clear
When I really could/ days pa** in a blur in a daze
Carving these words on a page masking the hurt
Phase half of the world out of my brain
Hardly return to that state silent and yearning
For that napalm to just burn
At least I'd feel some release I could just (breathe…)
Maybe one day see what the rest of the world sees
Maybe…I mean there's nothing really special about me
I'm just doing all I can to make sure no one can doubt me
I'm just hounded by my screw-ups
Drowning in these sewers/ my OCD that hold it keeps
Bound to every nuance but that's who I am
[Hook]
That's all I'll say
Is there any other way I can tell you how I feel?
That's who I am
Let me be now
[Second Verse]
Looking out my window
See the sky/ see the trees/ see the greens
See the colours/ see my dreams on repeat
Same thing/ same feeling running through me when I'm sleep
And my mind designs stories defined by life's hallways
I stroll through in the day/ I lay my head to rest
And they regroup again to formulate the feature for the night
And it plays through/ immersed within the details
The people and the sights/ the minor nuances
The finer points/ the like…
The scenes get so real that the feelings they evoke go so deep
To the point I even wake up kinda shaken by the whole thing
Little catches in my throat like when I reunite with mates
It wasn't real/ it's what I want
When I see my family members that aren't there
It's something I suppress but deep down that I can't bear
I feel like in my dreams is where I'd rather be
But I can make it happen/ course I can
The real dreams start here
But its hard tryna mentally depart from it when it's no longer real
Feels more like a movie scene you know you're watching
When you start to lucid dream/ it's too surreal
That beautiful and so serene piece of art you find yourself inside of
It's that Pica**o/ Da Vinci and Basquiat colliding with your soul
Violently exploding in a moment that you capture in a memory
That no one else will have or understand and that they'll never see
(f**'s sake…)
Outside time and defined by you
I guess you wouldn't get it if you never had my night times too
Double up my hyperactive brain/ get a bigger house
Cut from other life and have it rain/ open up the windows
The curtains and make it black/ pitch in fact
Have a ball kicked at my ribs ‘til they crack
Put wood under my back/ amplify the music in my head
‘Til it makes my ears ring/ blow dust into my eyes ‘til they itch
Wait…I take it back…I don't want you to see
I'll be less unique/ this is the kinda thing that gives me power
And lets me see some kinda purpose or direction
And potentially success/ it's monumental
Even when I'm leaving Uni truly I'll still be a student man
Let me sing a life of learning that's just who I am
[Outro]
That's who I am
Let me be now
That's who I am
Let me be now
Let me be now
Let me be now
That's who I am, who I am, who I am
Who I am