Have you heard the latest newsflash
About the d**hs In Lebanon
Another forty soldiers died
At the hands of American guns
They had to die said the Captain
They refused to conform at all
And tomorrow morning at sunrise
We're going to k** some more
[Chorus:]
Newsflash always depressing me
Newsflash why's it never happy
Newsflash always messing up my mind, mind, mind
Have you heard the latest newsflash
About the rapist on the run
He's mad so don't approach him
He knobs his victims just for fun
Used to be a Broadmoor patient
They messed up with his brain
Thought he was much better now
But now he's on the prowl again
Have you heard the latest newsflash
About the copper committing a**ault
Because of his high status
It couldn't possibly be his fault
The jury returned not guilty
O.K. PC, you're free
Thanks your honour I'm grateful
That's how it should be