Oh yeah
I'm on fire when I go to the night clubs
My pick up line is
"So do you like stuff?"
If they are keen they're probably a mindf**
Or they're fine but they've turned dyke knowing my luck
I'm going right up to 'em like "Hi"
But I never have a follow up line
So I just eye 'em up
Well can I buy you a drunk
I mean buy you a drink
I mean sh**, nah, f**
I'm trying to think of something witty to say
And she's like "Whatever"
I told her "Baby you could've been mine forever"
I came on too strong
Played on too long and found myself dancing to Akon's new song
Drunk as all f**
Still trying to get my groove on
Bouncer comes up
"Sir can you please move on, you're too drunk it's time to call it quits"
I says:
"Too drunk? It's only my fourth of fifth, plus you're interrupting me, I'm trying' to talk to chicks"
He says "That's not a girl, you're talking to the wall you dick"
Ahh sh**...
"No wonder she was such a good listener, about to start kissing' her and get all of her digits, but you interrupted!"
He didn't find it funny
He kicked me out the club and then he punched me in the tummy
He's calling me a smarta** and a drunk bum
Said "I'd rather be a smarta** than a dumb c*nt" (ehee no you didn't?)
No I didn't
But I think it's probably what I would've said if I was bigger
Full of liquor I move on to the next pub
I'm not gonna go home
I've gotten all dressed up
(chorus)
It's me
Single and I'm on the prowl
I wish that I could mingle, I just don't know how
I get pissed too quick
Then I get thrown out
Before I even get a chance to write your number down
(repeat)
Hey..um.. so I'm a rapper you know
Oh you're a rapper, what?
You know like I rap and stuff
My mate is in the Hilltop Hoods
No, I don't know the Hilltop Hoods
They're awesome...yeah, you should see them
I'm good but, I'm heaps good, do you want me to do a rap for you?
No, I m actually gonna go over here now
So I find myself
In the middle of the largest of lines
Just to get into a bar for a lager or five
I'd already been going hard drunk a carton at mine
Before I even left my apartment and started my night
I see a hottie walk past so I ask her for a light
She says "I don't smoke"
I says 'nah, neither do I'
We got to have a laugh at my retarded reply
But then she kept walking like she just pa**ing me by
I had to think fast so I asked for the time
She says 'The thing on your wrist will give a rather good guide'
Back to old smart a** like she's larger than life
Ah forget her
I'm already at the start of the line
So I get into the venue where the party is right
Everybody is looking like they're having a marvellous night
So many ladies in the place that it was hard to see guys
So it can't be hard for me to get a part of the pie
Pardon me I think I'll have a gla** of your wine
Park behind next to the chick in the khaki design
The bartender just laughs and says "Aren't you surprised that apart from you and I in the club there aren't any guys"
Well I did feel a little bit marginalised
But hell, all the more girls for me to party with me right?'
He's like "Next time you want yourself some a** for the night stay away from here dude this is a bar just for dykes"
(chorus)
It's me
Single and I'm on the prowl
I wish that I could mingle, I just don't know how
I get pissed too quick
Then I get thrown out
Before I even get a chance to write you number down
(repeat)