[Verse 1: James Corden]
Usain Bolt, nice to meet you
Now not to be cold but it sounds like you named yourself when you were five years old
After all those races you won in Brazil
You're about to lose to a man who's standing still
Now athletes aren't great at math so I hope this helps
You have fourteen gold medals less than Michael Phelps
For real, tell me what it's like to have a career
That people only care about once every four years
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, alright let's do this
[Verse 2: Usain Bolt]
In Jamaica we're taught "One Love" in school
But I'm sorry, Bob Marley, I'ma break that rule
You think you're a star but little do you know
Most people in here think they're watching the Kevin James show
You never should have started
You probably should have fled
I run my race in ten seconds
You last that long in bed
You woke the lightning bolt
You don't try to backpedal
My neck is starting to hurt
Hold on, hold my gold medal
[James Corden]
Reggie, will you hold these for me and then go and put them on Ebay?
Thank you
Okay
Alright
You're good
[Verse 3: James Corden]
Jamaicans all love you, which is no surprise
For a country where one in three people is high
If the [?] of the world's fastest man is true
Then how am I the one that's running circles around you?
When your endorsements dry up
Hey, you can call me
We always need more PAs to run and get me coffee
I'm gonna murder you on the mic
Then go ahead and win this
Take a selfie with your corpse
I know you like a photo finish
[Usain Bolt]
James, you talk a lot
I must say, you talk a lot
But let's go
[Verse 4: Usain Bolt]
Die in the show, James?
That ain't right
I can't die worse than what you do here every night
We all agree Carpool Karaoke is super
And it's practice for you next job: driving an Uber
You can't win tonight, no need to try
Think, have you ever seen me lose to a white guy?
I can't believe you entered this battle to be a winner
You only can outrun me if someone yells "DINNER!"
[Verse 5: James Corden]
You can run but you can't hide
You're f**ing 6' 5''
So look out everybody, Frankenstein's arrived
On the mic I'm a lion, and you you're just a cub
Here's a tip: stop taking photos with girls at the club
You're in love with Rihanna? That's not gonna happen at all
If you want to talk to her, here's my phone
Just press return missed call
It must be bittersweet to achieve your dreams
And still live in the shadow of a bobsled team
[James Corden]
Build a rhyme
[Usain Bolt]
I'm about to bring the fire now
[Verse 6: Usain Bolt]
So you saw Cool Runnings on your couch one night
While was in the gym making that movie my life
I'm the fastest human being in the history of racing
You know who has the lowest show in the history of ratings
I tried to watch your show and all I could think
This show should end faster than one of my sprints
I have nine gold medals the last time that I checked
That's one for every time that you had s**