Verse 1: Element
I'll never have enough I'm not backing up
I just can't adjust if I ain't having d**
My whole stamina is f**ing damaged cuz
I've been slamming cups of this Fanta brushed
With a little bit of syrup in the can I chugged
No pop had to drink it flat and I buzzed
Afterwards I feel above my state like Canada
I didn't see why I should stop I threw my hands straight up
Take a sip when I (went to school)
Take a sip when I (felt so blue)
Take a sip when I hated sh** and I
Hated living life endless duels
With my own mind
There was countless times when I hoped I
Was gonna take too much and end my own life I won't lie
I used to get high because heaven was up
And I would go there with no measuring cup
Sip sip sipping that medicine up
Sip sip sip till my head would get stuck
In the mindset that I need it to achieve sh**
I would be hit with depression if I leave it
In the drawer it was keyless so I reached in
Had all this pain I didn't know how to ease it
Guess I wanted to be this teen kid with no demons just a dream and a Stephen King book I was reading
Couldn't finish the page cuz the bottle of greenness was gleaming it would seep into my dreams when I'm sleeping
Couldn't find a center had no faith in Jesus; but I called him every night in my bed with the fright in my head I think I'm about to see him
Chorus:
What do you need to take?
Just to ease the pain?
How do you k** yourself?
So you don't live in hell? (x2)
(Qday verse)
(Chorus)
I'm not sure any more about
How much more I can take
I'm drowning and nobody can save me
From this prison in my mind that has caged me
Waking up but I'm still asleep (still asleep, still asleep)
Resiliency doesn't exist for me if that bottle right there is still in reach
My abilities are continually just slipping free from my grip it seems
I'm a different being so I finished these letters for all of you to sit and read
So then it dawns on me this ain't the motherf**er I wanna be
I wanna meet the next dawn to see I want it so you know that I'm gonna plead so honestly
I wanna write the next song for me I wanna right the next wrong I see
I wanna live, I just wanna live but I couldn't do it all with my autonomy
Won't you please awake?
I'm here to ease the pain
I don't want to see you KILL YOURSELF
I am only HERE TO HELP anyway I you find your way
This song is dedicated to anyone who has contemplated suicide or struggled with an addiction in their lifetime. I just want to let you know I'm here for you. I know what it's like. I know things can get hard, but you can't give up yet. Life will get better even if you think it won't. You have to keep hope. Believe in yourself. Your moment will come