Well I stood at the wall, and the rifles were raised
They offered me a last cigarette
I said "I don't smoke, can I have something else?"
They said, "no, that's all that you get."
Now I've been good in life, like a well-meaning saint
I've been kindly and gracious to most other folk
But I want to get into heaven, well, I need I clean slate
So what brand would sweet Jesus smoke?
What brand would sweet Jesus smoke, oh Lord
What brand would sweet Jesus smoke?
If I'm gonna get into heaven please tell me
What brand would sweet Jesus smoke?
Now my father, he was a pipe man. my mother preferred
Cigars. and I picked up most of my second-hand smoke
From hanging out at the neighborhood bars
Now I'm gonna die, so Lord please send me that savory
Heavenly toke. and please make sure that that rolled-up
Tobacky is the brand that Jesus would smoke
Chorus
There are Camels and Benson & Hedges unfiltered
Virginia Slim Lights if you preferred filtered
Then there are Paul-Malls and the most famous ciggie of all
Marlboro the Red-Top cancer stick has a very shiny bu*t and
If you ever smoked one, put you in an awful rut
Like a chest cold
Now my guardian angel appeared unto me
He said, "do what I say, son, you won't fail
Go ahead and let those executioners light up your smoke
Just make sure that you don't inhale."
Chorus