[Verse 1: Dirty Pharms]
Rage turned inward
Chatting up this b**h on tinder
I'll give her a stinky finger
Then feel bitter when the feeling of her touch lingers
A few years ago I was much thinner
'coz I cut dinner
I used to f** mad s*uts without crying
Now I get triggered
Cry you a river call it styx
I'm in hell 'coz I'm a sinner
I made decisions I wish I could reconsider
Gotta live with all the guilt and self hatred
I'm painted as a villain but its highly debated
I was devastated when my ex and I seperated
All because I like being humiliated
Self-punishment and flagellation like the middle ages
Then my body get tainted for s**ual gratification
Self medicatin' getting faded until I'm debilitated
I'm so f**ing stupid, see her getting zooted
Waiting for my execution
My mind was polluted at a young age by people who were ruthless
Sit here like a doofus, mad secluded, f**ing useless
I don't do sh**
Nobody listens to my music
My ideas are ludicrous and convoluted
I live in a fantasy world like C.S lewis but still I do it
Too depressed to flex I don't feel impressive
I'm highly detested, people want to see me arrested
Theres a meth-head to my madness
I feel sad and restless
I pace around my room it feels endless
I got a d**h wish
I was defenceless when I was molested
I use that to justify acting selfish
I don't got to justify sh** because justice is for dumb b**hes
I'm quick to lick a dirty p**y till my tongue itches
And then I come in it
I lose all competitions, no ambition
I don't care to win or even finish
I crave derision
So self defeating
Had to take beatings when I was young and now I plunder when I'm cheated
But the rush is fleeting, I get a guilty feeling from the creeping
I shouldn't be deceiving or mistreating my street thing
Many parallels between us and Lea & Kells
I know It's only a matter of time before she rebels
[?]
[sigh] Soon I'll sit in a cell
I wish I could expel all this rage
The boiling heat comes in waves
All these revenge fantasies keep me high in the trees like a canopy
Trynna' supress the agony but people want to rattle me
The veracity of my s**uality leaves me panicking
I just sit here anxiously waiting for karma to clap back at me
I know she's really mad at me
I know she's really mad at me