Ladies and gentlemen, the proposed breakup of the Microsoft Corporation has caused great financial anxiety for one of America's most beloved multi-billionaires. Of course I'm talking about Bill Gates. And while some people may go about their daily lives without worrying about Bill Gates's financial problems, we in the Capitol Steps are not that cold and heartless. We have decided tonight, with your permission, to state a fundraiser to help the man out. We have brought with us some of the top international singing stars: please welcome Diana Ross
Oh, it's so nice to finally have an audience
We also have Bob Dylan. Bob, how are you doing?
(Mumbling)
This is very exciting: we have Michael Jackson. Michael, how are you tonight?
I'm holdin' my own
Yeah, we kinda hoped you'd stop doing that. And finally, we have Bill Gates himself to participate in this historic fundraising event!
There comes a time, when a judge named Jackson calls
And you find you've made him really upset
Though Bill Gates's Explorer, is certainly the best
For finding pictures on the internet
It isn't right they should break his company up
And the billions he should have to lose
So raise your mouses, and let's all double-click
To help the software we all use
We all use Word
We all use Windows
We all use browsers that allow where you cannot or can go
There's no choice you're makin'
And doesn't that save you time?
Why should I build a better Word? Heh, you're already mine
If things that we'll use make judge upset
Then we don't just break up the alphabet
If you don't like big rich things or big conglomerates
You just might break up Oprah Winfrey next
Alright, everybody sing along with Bob Dylan!
We all use Word
We all use Yahoo
There's not a company in the world that does what I do
So break us up, Judge Jackson
But I warn you, if you do
I won't run the top company in America, I'll run the top two