C: Yo... Waddup Doc? It's C.O.D. dude
(Hai)
I'm here to batter Battlefield back
To nineteen fourty-two
So the entire world plays me
When its Game-Time
B: Since when was a game's main
Selling point was fish A.I.?
You're the least innovative of
Game franchises
Same game every year... What
Your fanboys got Alzheimer's?
Yeah... 'cos the way I see
Every game since 0-4 coulda been
DLC
Did I say 0-4? I go further back in
Time
You're based off the quake engine
From 1999!
Oh 1999? sh**-dawg! That's as old
As the song we stole this beat
From!
C: Oh no Im losing rap battle man
I'm failing, I'm Through-
Wait- oh yea I've have 70 million
More players than you
And did you have a single-player
Campaign I can't remember
I don't quite understand how
People think you're a contender
I've got Ghost, Soap, Price damn
Such memorable men
And you got hmmm, errr, wait-
Uhhh who were they again?
B: Yo who cares about protagonists
AI Characters, it's all about the
Multiplayer, real people, real
Battles- b**h!
C: Well nice try with Bad Company
But no cigar
B: Well I rather no cigar than no DICE
And wow- talk about memorable
What was your theme tune?
(Battlefield Tune)
My theme tune rules!
C: Oh you mean the one you stole
From Terminator 2?
B: You can take your perks, fool
Circle jerk, too:
I'll aim with sk**, knife up in your
Grill- next
C: Well in my d**hbed my grenade
Will drop like Skrillex
C: I tried your game once
Logged on; spawned in it
All the vehicles were taken
So I walked for four minutes
To get one-hit k**ed from a RPG
From some gay b**h
Then I got ran over by my team in a
Jeep
So I rage quit!
B: Well I tried your game too
It was really bad
Couldn't hear sh** over the
Screaming kids calling me a queer
f*g (well you are)
By the time I was muted I was
Stuck in spawn, mince meat
Cos a prestige 4 year old was on
A kiilllstreak
Your matches s**
It's just a violent bloodbath
While I got more style than your
Prices moustache
C: Yo- where's your moustache
Battlefield I must ask
B: My players don't need to
Compensate for what they can't
Have
And Graphic, ha Ghosts look
Antique
You call it next-gen
I call it last week
So f** off, and go and find your
Manhood
Cos with Frostbyte 3, you know I
Look damn good!
C: To play you, you need a beastly
PC
DICE: wanna stop misleading your
Geeks?
Not every gamers wallet and their
Bank is so ma**ive to afford a top-
Spec PC to run with maximum
Graphics
And geez Battlefield, for an fps
Your fps s**s!
How many frames do your run per
Second? 10? Well f**!
B: Stop living in the past
Come to next gen
We're the best then
Where we clock a hot 60fps man
And 64 simultaneous players
C: Well in this gen, you're only 24
That's a failure to gamers
B: Well you got the static map design
That barely changes
I'm all about the real battlefields
Big open spaces
And explain how a game, that is
Claiming to have, a realistic dog
Could be such a fake b**h!
C: This rap battle's not clever man
It's audacious, when you got
Rihanna, and I got l Eminem on my
Trailers
And what do you got to offer next
Then, dog?
Cos whatever it is, it's not as good
As my next gen dog!
He took a helicopter man, that's a
Violent stray poochie!
B: sh**, was is this, a Michael Bayne
Movie?
That's just a cut-scene from yiur
Campaign! For me, that kinda sh**
Happens in- game!
So while I blow up a skyscraper
Jihad a jeep
While you use the same damn gun
Week after week
You are the k**streak in my land
You pilot the plane, not call it in
From an earpiece and an iPad
My Nan could do that, that's how it
Seems to me
C: Let me teach you a word:
Accessibility. Remember fun? Have
You played a game before? You
Think you know battles, you can't
Even beat me in the sales war!
Where are the most elitest f*gs are
k**ed? Dum Dum De Dum Dum
Only in Battlefield
B: Nah, you're all me me me, I'm
Taking care of my team, let's settle
This like a man son!
C: Wait... why are we rapping? We
Have guns
*Gunshots*
(End)