The reason why I've called us all together
Is to share with you some heartbreaking news
You see there's been a d**h in the family
And as relatives I thought it best you knew
By now you've noticed
Betty's not here with me
And Betty won't be joining us tonight
I said, "There's been a d**h in the family"
After all the many years that I've loved her
She says, she thinks it's best we live apart
Really there's been two d**hs in the family
Betty's love for me and my poor heart
You'll all miss her at our family reunion
And I know you'll miss her smiles at Christmas time
But think of me and all the years I've loved her
And pray to God that I don't lose my mind