The reason why I've called us all together Is to share with you some heartbreaking news You see there's been a d**h in the family And as relatives I thought it best you knew By now you've noticed Betty's not here with me And Betty won't be joining us tonight I said, "There's been a d**h in the family" After all the many years that I've loved her She says, she thinks it's best we live apart Really there's been two d**hs in the family Betty's love for me and my poor heart You'll all miss her at our family reunion And I know you'll miss her smiles at Christmas time But think of me and all the years I've loved her And pray to God that I don't lose my mind