Verse 1:
Got drunk on a Monday (Monday?)
Got drunk on a Tuesday (damn)
Got drunk on a Wednesday
Everyday booze-day
Yo pa** me the shoestring, pa** me the belt
Pa** me the scarf, pa** me the rope
Pa** me the chair, I'm hangin' myself
Happy birthday, let's party
Might see your ex at the party
Havin' s** in the potty
With your best friend Johnny (Johnny?)
He gon' exit the party
He gon' wait in the lobby
He gon' catch him some bodies
Tryin' to escape to Hawaii
That's not likely
Pretend like it's gucci
That's not wifey, good thin you kept jpegs of her coochie
I got an idea
f** her best friend Maria
Tell a b**h watch her rear
This couch from IKEA
Chorus
Verse 2:
Osama Benny Laden
No shirt, like Aladdin
In the palace, I'm a stallion
Squirtin' on Jasmine, pa** me a towel
That was kinda retarded
Beat kinda sound like "Slightly Retarded"
BT, highly regarded
Pardon me, while I shart on the carpet
"Do you know who that is?"
b**h see me, do a backflip
Her elbow, autograph it
Eyes up here, not on my package
b**h got mad, had a tantrum
Want attention, called me a has-been
I'm a has-been
Because I have been
f**in her a** in abandoned buildings
It's my birthday, that's what it is
Let me get the baby-back ribs
Bone a b**h in the back of the Siz
Next thing you know, daddy got kids
Left the state, don't you stalk me
I'm unemployed, can't get sh** off me
Changed my name, don't you call me
Benny ain't goin' on Stephen Harvey
Chorus
Verse 3:
Failed math, and biology
Maybe I'll try scientology
Marijuana, highest quality
Saw your mom in line at Jollibee
Hire me, wanna swallow me
In the bathroom doin' gynecology
What's those bumps? Don't lie to me (the f**?)
Told me I might got the gonorrhee
I ain't got no insurance
b**h, I ain't even got a furnace
If I ain't live in Los Urngales
I woulda been got hypothermis (Brrrh)
I think I might got diabeetus
God damn I love these sweetuns
God damn I live these Doritus
I can't eat normal [???]
Don't make no plans on Thursday
Girl, you invited to my birthday (birthday)
Bring me some bud, and some bird, mane
Shave that puss, wake up early
Bring your sister, Melisser
How about you kiss her?
Treat a ho like I treat my liver
Thanks for the gift card
Chorus
Outro:
Man: Wherever he goes, well placed sprays of urine announce his presence