[Princeton]
What do you do with a B.A. in English?
What is my life going to be?
4 years of college,
And plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree!
I can't pay the bills yet,
'Cause I have no sk**s yet,
The world is a big scary place!
But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference to the human race!
[Kate]
Morning Brian!
[Brian]
Hi, Kate Monster
[Kate]
How's life?
[Brian]
Disappointing
[Kate]
What's the matter?
[Brian]
The catering company laid me off
[Kate]
Oh, I'm sorry
[Brian]
Me too! I mean, look at me!
I'm 10 years out of college,
And I always thought...
[Kate]
What?
[Brian]
No it sounds stupid.
[Kate]
Oh c'mon!
[Brian]
When I was little,
I thought I would be,
A big comedian on late-night TV!
But now I'm 32 and as u can see,
I'm not, oh well,
It s**s to be me!
It s**s to be me!
It s**s to be broke, and unemployed, and turning 33!
It s**s to be me!
[Kate]
You think your life s**s?
[Brian]
I think so
[Kate]
Your problems aren't so bad
I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.
[Brian]
You are
[Kate]
Thanks
I like romantic things like music and art.
And as you know I have a gigantic heart,
So why don't I have a boyfriend?
fu*k!
It s**s to be me!
[Brian]
Me too!
[Kate]
It s**s to be me!
[Brian]
It s**s to be me!
It s**s to be Brian
[Kate]
And Kate
[Brian]
To not have a job
[Kate]
To not have a date
[Both]
It s**s to be me!
[Rod/Nicky arguing]
[Brian]
Hey Rod, Nicky, can you settle something for us if you have a second?
[Rod]
Oh, certainly
[Kate]
Whose life s**s more, Brian's or mine?
[Rod and Nicky]
OURS!
[Rod]
We live together
[Nicky]
We're close as people can get
[Rod]
We've been the best of buddies
[Nicky]
Ever since the day we met
[Rod]
So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset! Oh!
Every day is an aggravation
[Nicky]
C'mon that's an exaggeration
[Rod]
You leave your clothes out,
You put your feet on my chair
[Nicky]
Oh yea? You do such an*l things like ironing your underwear!
[Rod]
You make that very small apartment we share, a hell!
[Nicky]
So do you, that's why I'm in hell too!
[Rod]
It s**s to be me!
[Nicky]
No it s**s to be me!
[Kate]
It s**s to be me!
[Brian]
It s**s to be me!
[All]
Is there anybody here it doesn't s** to be?
It s**s to be me!
[Christmas Eve]
Why u all so happy?
[Brian]
'Cause our lives s**!
[Christmas Eve]
Your lives s**?
I hearing u correctly? Ha!
I coming to this country, for opportunities,
Try to work in Korean deli,
But I a Japanese!
But with hard work I earned two master degrees!
In social work,
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients!
And I have unemployed fiancй,
And we have lots of bills to pay!
It s**s to be me!
It s**s to be me!
I say it s**a, s**a, s**a, s**a,
s**a, s**a, s**a, s**a, s**a,
s**a, s**a, s**a, s**!
It s**s to be me!
[Princeton]
Uh excuse me,
Sorry to bother u, but I'm looking for a place to live
[Christmas Eve]
Why u looking out here?
[Princeton]
Well, I started in Avenue A,
But so far everything's out of my price range,
But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper.
Oh and look a forensie!
[Brian]
You need to talk to the superintendent,
Let me get him.
[Princeton]
Great! Thanks!
[Brian]
YO GARY!
[Gary Coleman]
I'm coming! I'm coming!
[Princeton]
Oh my God it's Gary Coleman!
[Gary Coleman]
Yes I am!
I'm Gary Coleman,
From TVs different strokes.
I made a lot of money,
That got stolen by my folks!
Now I'm broke, and I'm the bu*t of everyone's jokes!
But I'm here, the superintendent
On Avenue Q!
[All]
It s**s to be you!
[Kate]
You win!
[All]
It s**s to be you!
[Brian]
I feel better now!
[Gary Coleman]
Try having people stopping you to ask you,
Whatch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?
It gets old.
[All]
It s**s to be you!
On Avenue Q!
s**s to be me!
On Avenue Q!
s**s to be you
On Avenue Q
s**s to be us
But not when were together!
We're together here on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q!
Our friends do too,
Till our dreams come true!
We live on Avenue Q
[Princeton]
This is real life!
[All]
We live on Avenue Q
[Nicky]
You're gonna love it!
[All]
We live on Avenue Q
[Gary Coleman]
Here's your keys!
[All]
Welcome, to Avenue Q!