I used to be so hesitant
But now I've got my whole life to live
And I've got all my love to give
To all you f**ers that I hate
It's like the Gift of the Magi
More like the Gift of the Magi 2
You sold your soul to buy some tits
And I sold my soul to grow a dick
We gotta get him in the van
But what if he resists?
Just kick him in the back of the f**ing head
And put him in the back of the f**ing van
It's a miracle of science
All this betrayal and violence
And it lives inside us all
It lives inside our hearts
Just like a stupid f**ing tapeworm
Who can we blame?
The husband divorced his wife
After she cut her hair
Because she was way less f**able
And that's just unforgivable
He moved into a condo
He hung out by the pool
But he never wore a bathing suit
He just wanted to scope out the talent
If God doesn't like ugly
Then God doesn't like anybody
So f** God anyway
God is obsolete
Oh my God thinks my jokes are funny
There is no one to blame
People are just f**ing mean
Go Suns