I used to be so hesitant But now I've got my whole life to live And I've got all my love to give To all you f**ers that I hate It's like the Gift of the Magi More like the Gift of the Magi 2 You sold your soul to buy some tits And I sold my soul to grow a dick We gotta get him in the van But what if he resists? Just kick him in the back of the f**ing head And put him in the back of the f**ing van It's a miracle of science All this betrayal and violence And it lives inside us all It lives inside our hearts Just like a stupid f**ing tapeworm Who can we blame? The husband divorced his wife After she cut her hair Because she was way less f**able And that's just unforgivable He moved into a condo He hung out by the pool But he never wore a bathing suit He just wanted to scope out the talent If God doesn't like ugly Then God doesn't like anybody So f** God anyway God is obsolete Oh my God thinks my jokes are funny There is no one to blame People are just f**ing mean Go Suns