He's a serious mister
Shake his hand and he'll twist your arm
With monopoly money
We'll be buying the funny farm
So i'll do flips,
And get paid in chips
From a diamond as big as the ritz--
Then i'm calling it quits
Eyes the color of candy
Lies to cover the handicap
Though your slippers are ruby
You'll be led to the b**by trap
And there's no prize,
Just a smaller size
So i'm wearing the shoe til it fits--
Then i'm calling it quits
Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds
Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines
Lifting dialogue from judy garland storylines
Where get-tough girls turn into goldmines
But oh, those polaroid babies
Taking chances with rabies
Happy to tear me to bits--
Well, i'm calling it quits
Yes, i'm calling it quits.