My first crush on an Irish girl
I was 10 years old and her name was Elaine
A red head girl, well she looked like you but if you were 10
Which you're clearly not
Not that you look old
But you get my- I'll just stop now
Okay wait cause I had a point
No I swear I did
Well, I think I did
Which is all my life, or since I was 10
I have had a yen for an Irish la**
Cause God knows why I like the ancient curse of the shiksa queens
Do I talk too much?
Which is not to say that I want Elaine
Who turned out to be
When I last checked in a republican
And a parapsychologist?
If you've got a four leaf clover
You could make your dreams come true!
I could be your Hebrew slave
Just do the things that Irish girls do
Talk about potato famine, I begin to cry on cue
Sing about the Emerald Isle and
Get your Irish eyes to smile and
I could be in love with someone like you
(Okay yeah I just said that's... good... no it's great)
I just left a relationship
With a lovely girl named Alissa Levine
She was really great
It was all my fault
I just got upset because she slept with my brother
So I made a vow not get caught up
In the dating scene or the whole routine
Or the cousin's friend, or the who knows what
Like I need that sh**
I've got marks to make
I've got steps to climb
It's the perfect time I've got in which to run
I've got things to do
I go out door and bump into you
And the jig is up and my vow is through
I don't know what I'm doing
But come in and ruin me
I will write my own Ulysses
If you're gonna show me how
Take me back to Glockamora baby
And the river Shannon now!
If you'll be Misses O'Leary
Baby I will be your cow!
I'll deliver shamrock shaylee
Buy your Pa a new shalalee!
I could be in love with someone like
You could be my inspiration
And get me past this block
And walk me through the great unknown
You, Could be my true salvation
Unchain me from this rock
And keep me from being alone
'Cause I'm no good at being alone
Take me to another level
Let me play in through your halls
I will do a river dance as long as you keep answering my calls
Get me out of my apartment
Keep me from my empty walls
Someone hire John McCormick
Start to wear a little green
Let me win the Irish sweepstakes
Let me take you home Kathleen
I could be in love with someone
I could be in love with someone
I could be in love with someone like you