My first crush on an Irish girl I was 10 years old and her name was Elaine A red head girl, well she looked like you but if you were 10 Which you're clearly not Not that you look old But you get my- I'll just stop now Okay wait cause I had a point No I swear I did Well, I think I did Which is all my life, or since I was 10 I have had a yen for an Irish la** Cause God knows why I like the ancient curse of the shiksa queens Do I talk too much? Which is not to say that I want Elaine Who turned out to be When I last checked in a republican And a parapsychologist? If you've got a four leaf clover You could make your dreams come true! I could be your Hebrew slave Just do the things that Irish girls do Talk about potato famine, I begin to cry on cue Sing about the Emerald Isle and Get your Irish eyes to smile and I could be in love with someone like you (Okay yeah I just said that's... good... no it's great) I just left a relationship With a lovely girl named Alissa Levine She was really great It was all my fault I just got upset because she slept with my brother So I made a vow not get caught up In the dating scene or the whole routine Or the cousin's friend, or the who knows what Like I need that sh** I've got marks to make I've got steps to climb It's the perfect time I've got in which to run I've got things to do I go out door and bump into you And the jig is up and my vow is through I don't know what I'm doing But come in and ruin me I will write my own Ulysses If you're gonna show me how Take me back to Glockamora baby And the river Shannon now! If you'll be Misses O'Leary Baby I will be your cow! I'll deliver shamrock shaylee Buy your Pa a new shalalee! I could be in love with someone like You could be my inspiration And get me past this block And walk me through the great unknown You, Could be my true salvation Unchain me from this rock And keep me from being alone 'Cause I'm no good at being alone Take me to another level Let me play in through your halls I will do a river dance as long as you keep answering my calls Get me out of my apartment Keep me from my empty walls Someone hire John McCormick Start to wear a little green Let me win the Irish sweepstakes Let me take you home Kathleen I could be in love with someone I could be in love with someone I could be in love with someone like you