I wanna carve out your eyes with a red hot bu*ter knife
Skin you alive within an inch of your life
I wanna rip out your teeth
And have the blood roll down my shirt
But you always say--
I don't wanna, it'll hurt
I'm not a muppet like Ernie or Bert!
I wanna kiss your eardrum with a cut piano wire
Bathe you in champagne and set you on fire
I wanna soak your eyes in bleach
I'm asking nice, I'm never curt
But you always say--
I don't wanna, it'll hurt
You don't want to die, you say
But d**h is not my intention
So let me torture your private parts
With my multi-knifed invention
So let's sew your tongue to the tip of your nose
Get a nice hydraulic press to flatten all your toes
I wanna paint you bright colors and elongate your head with a vice
And force your eyes open so nice with eye drops
So you look like Ernie and Bert
But you always say--
I don't wanna, it'll hurt
You can do it to me too, if you want to