I wish I was clever at painting my nails
But varnish just laughs in my face
I try to paint flawlessly, but doomed to fail
The lacquer won't stay in its place
I start off determined that perfect they'll be
The left hand come close to the mark
I let them dry out so they'll stay all smudge free
And then on the right, I'll embark
This is where 'do it yourself' cannot work
As ambidextrous I am not
It looks like a three year old child's gone berserk
So I end up removing the lot
Even if polish keeps where it's meant
With cuticles sitting unscathed
I guarantee before an hour is spent
Their surface looks dull and engraved!
The science of make up has answered our prayers
With the smudge and chip free makes about
I 'll have to remortgage my house but who cares
I'll flaunt my nails more when I'm out!