Five feet high and three feet wide
No one's ever eaten the whole thing and survived
It comes with a bucket of ranch on the side
It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Dear God!)
The Ultimate Sandwich (Oh sh**!)
Its taste could drive a lesser man insane
Served on wheat bread made from thirty thousand separate grains
It was made by a demon in his kitchen of pain
It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Sweet Christ!)
The Ultimate Sandwich (f** Yeah!)
Whoa-ho
It's a sh**-ton of chicken
On a dickload of ham
An explosion of clams
Whoa-ho
Top that f**er with yams
Now just add panther, bear meat, and duck
And you've got a sandwich that I'd like to f**!
I mean eat...what?
The ultimate sandwich uses weapons-grade ham
To awaken your pa**ions, make you feel like a man
It's as dense as an anvil and as big as a raft
Its sun-dried tomatoes grip the sides of my shaft
Topped with man's hottest peppers on the world's coldest cuts
It's time to get s**y, no ifs, and, or buts
As I thrust deep inside it, bacon grazes my nuts
It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Oh tits!)
The Ultimate Sandwich (Hot balls!)
Whoa-ho
It's a legend of lunches
The lord of buffets
I could slam it for days
Whoa ho
It sets my patties ablaze
It's time to stuff my stuff in its stuffing
Ninja Brian for practice I nailed your blueberry muffins
(spoken) Oh, but not the one you're eating right now, Brian.
All right, I f**ed that muffin too.
You gonna judge me? You gonna be a Judgey Jason about this?
Ah! You have cleaved my entire body in half.