This song is about a problem that I have...
Frequently
There are three, three, three kinds of erections
Some are s**ual
Some occur during periods of nervous tension
But there's a mysterious third kind
That no one really understands
It happens when your shlong decides
To take matters into its own hands
No reason bo*er
No reason bo*er
It baffles scientists
No reason bo*er
This morning I was having breakfast
At the Midtown diner
The bagel was delicious
And the coleslaw couldn't be finer
I got a weird look from the waitress
When I asked her for the check
I looked down and realized
I was one hundred percent erect
No reason bo*er
No reason bo*er
I like coleslaw but not that much
No reason bo*er
[Mailman:] Hi! Welcome to the post office.
[Danny:] Thanks! I just need to mail this package.
[Mailman:] No problem, just place it on the scale.
[Danny:] Sure thing!
Oh! Oh god! I... I can't right now!
[Mailman:] Why not?
[Danny:] I... I have to go. I have a, uh... doctor's appointment at the dentist's!
Now things are a little awkward
Between my mailman and I
That was not my best lie
I was just covering up for my
No reason bo*er
No reason bo*er
That was the wrong kind of package to mail
No reason bo*er
[Zookeeper:] Hi! Welcome to the zoo!
[Danny:] Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys!
[Zookeeper:] Actually, those technically aren't monkeys, they're macaques.
[Danny:] Wow! Macaque's really hairy.
[Danny:] Uh... So, what time does the zoo close?
[Zookeeper:] About eight o'clock.
[Danny:] Great! That gives me a chance t- Oh god.
Oh, not... not now! Not in front of the children!
Why have you forsaken me lord!?
This is no laughing matter
This is not some kind of game
I can tuck away my Johnson
But I can never tuck away the shame
It can happen anytime
It can happen anywhere
When the Loch Ness Monster
Decides he wants to randomly come up for air
No reason bo*er, oh
No reason bo*er
You're ruining my life
No reason bo*er
No reason bo*er
No reason bo*er
Why....?
bo*er