I'm trouser-bursting fat; I'm gurner ugly –
Made in ways I brought upon myself:
Jam and cream and high esteem
– They melded in together, forever
Growing yellow lipid mounds.
So this is I, in love with chips –
Dripping with dripping –
Dipped in dips
Of course –
My lips enjoy a kiss
On greasy tucker;
Oily f*cker,
Licking the sauce –
It makes me high.
Now where's the pie?
A mouth of this and mash
To follow with a rash or two of bacon,
Delight of mastication,
Drink, then deglutition.
Admonition came to mind: tell myself
The fattened ba*tard that I am
Was dying of an overload of calories,
Gorging on the devilries.
Ha! You think I care?