Oh, the tree in my garden fell down
Lamppost hit me
Attacked by a kitty
Oh, they released the hounds
Door fell on me
Lost my teddy
My luck is fading away
More and more every day
I don't know why
I'm so unlucky
It's never been this way before
I don't think that
I've been this fat
Since I was three of four
Oh, lost my job today
Never ever once got payed
Oh, my DVD player broke
Dog's on fire
Tripped over a wire