[Verse 1]
Ever since the day I was four
I recall being told for my age I'm mature
And i still get praise now though 'm old
Informed that I had a wise soul
But if im wise then why is it I struggle when tacklin
The most basic of human interactions
A dumb kid who fears what could happinin
When faced with the most mundane of challenges
Grade school mantra: think before actin
Heavy emphasis on the first half of it
And years upon years I've been practicin
But that restraint has become self shacklin
Least now I've established the cause
For fear of my real self getting involved
Got a plethora of facades like a deck full of'cards
(just a) lame attempt for adjusting the odds
I've evolved to be overly cautious
And so indirect its obnoxious
Ingrained in behavior, to hard to stop it
That's why my social life has always been toxic
[Bridge]
Ah sh**
As i stand there scared and powerless
That's all I do
Stand there pa**ive and cowardice
[Verse 2]
Risk is monstrously calling me out
To take a leap of faith in the canyon of doubt
But I feel unprepared for the bout
I sit there too frozen to open my mouth
This time spent gauging uncertainty
Gave cue for insecurities to murder me
Nipped the bud to prevent me from flourishing
But its grown into more than burden see
Stakes mishaps are disastrous
On the inside I violently react to it
My ego takes a ma**ive hit, my self esteem is fast to dip
I'll teach a course in self loathing cause I've mastered it
Even though I'm talking with my tongue in cheek
Brawling with this struggle isn't fun to me
At this rate ill never to live life's luxury
Cause this process is far too punishing
Biggest mistake was not making to many
Only 20, and already thrown away plenty
Must retire with the risk averting tendencies
And try and make a move while these thoughts still rendering
Should embrace mistakes while I'm young
Not saying go out there and gamble for fun
If i played blackjack Id'e probably win a ton
With the way I've been cautiously approaching 21
But that's changing, How much you wanna bet?
Cause I'm getting pretty pruney from this pool of regrets
I'd try and play it cool till my mentals adept
No doubt getting out ‘ll make tremble and sweat
But , that first step to growin I know this
For good and for bad, I just need to own it
Get over my own sh** and see through the bogus
And finally explore what the world is beholdin]