and during those sometimes when
its harder to remember reasons to laugh
than it is to remember reasons to cry
it has to do with how remember remembers
the realms of memories and pick and choose
the conditionings of pain leave deeper imprints
repressing laughter in a competition of pick me
stars in the night dimming bright racing the sun
with memories of good and bad lined up in line
who do we pick out first and most in the lined up
reliving same shadow parts of the past all overs
as good memories and reasons to laugh wonder
who and what turned the past into the diseased
feelings transmuted into ambushes of hysterical
feeding our natural fires into emotional fevers
high octane combustion for erupting internals
and at the core of blaming is blaming ourselves
in the mining by trauma with distorting perception's
the wronged become the wrong and thats their worth
turning images of self into fragments of who we are
good things that happened and reasons to laugh wait
wanting their fair turn to bring the balance they bring
feeling like wall flowers in the dance hall of memories
with to too many singers singing to many sad songs
like a desperate drought in a desert using tears for rain