I woke up in a wreck on somebody's back deck
I stumbled down the street- beer and weed on my breath
"What happened?" is the only question I could fathom asking
As a stumbled in to vomit in the gas station bathroom
Crusted in my mustache- I must ask the cashier
Where I can find a trash bin to throw this condom wrapper in
Least there's a possibility I wore one
Who's the lucky lady? What may Natey have contracted?
As I leave, I'm trying desperately
To unweave this tapestry and pick up every last puzzle piece
But I can't do it, I'm ruined and I cannot rea**emble
I blame it on the pain in my temple
I've been to the bottom and here I am again
I gotta find my car and I gotta find my friends
I feel like sh**, man- I feel so alone
I got high last night and I didn't go home
I'm tryina think back to the beginning of the bender
The last I remember was Sam the bartender
Trek down the street through 90 degree weather
Skin color- green, I should be on a stretcher
Walkin' down Mainstreet, a car pulls up
Pizza face baby weighed about 3 bucks
"I had fun last night, you got my number, hit me up"
I looked her in the eyes and I replied like, "yup."
I make it to the the bar- find my car is parked
The only problem is, I don't know where the keys are
RETARD
I would to call a homie, but hey- wouldn'tcha know
The phone in my pocket could desperately use a recharge
I step into the bar and ask if I can use the phone
They were like, "Nate, after we cut you off- where did you go?"
Uuugh, man- I really wish I knew, but I don't
All I know is I got high and I didn't go home"
I called up Teece, I was like, "Ayy, wa**up
I'm hungover at the station, please come pick me up
My car's out front, but I can't find the keys"
He was like, "Dude I took 'em- remember? You tried to leave"
"Well, dude- you couldn't gimme a ride?"
"Man, I tried, but you left with that fat chick, insisting that you were fine"
Noooo
God why
f** me
I ran outside and dry-heaved in the street
Who coulda seen? I hope nobody knows
I'm beginning to think that I'm outta control
I oughtta get it together but I know that I won't
That's the way the cookie crumbles, that's life- I suppose
So there I sit, basking in shame
'Till Teece pulled up and he laughed in my face
He handed me my keys, "Hey, thanks- I gotta go
I got high last night and it's time to go home"
I'll wake up in a fog- god dang, good god
I'll put it all together like "oh-lawd"
I hardly ever smoke, it's a fact that I drink
Put 'em both together, I'll be yackin' in a sink x2.5