I woke up in a wreck on somebody's back deck I stumbled down the street- beer and weed on my breath "What happened?" is the only question I could fathom asking As a stumbled in to vomit in the gas station bathroom Crusted in my mustache- I must ask the cashier Where I can find a trash bin to throw this condom wrapper in Least there's a possibility I wore one Who's the lucky lady? What may Natey have contracted? As I leave, I'm trying desperately To unweave this tapestry and pick up every last puzzle piece But I can't do it, I'm ruined and I cannot rea**emble I blame it on the pain in my temple I've been to the bottom and here I am again I gotta find my car and I gotta find my friends I feel like sh**, man- I feel so alone I got high last night and I didn't go home I'm tryina think back to the beginning of the bender The last I remember was Sam the bartender Trek down the street through 90 degree weather Skin color- green, I should be on a stretcher Walkin' down Mainstreet, a car pulls up Pizza face baby weighed about 3 bucks "I had fun last night, you got my number, hit me up" I looked her in the eyes and I replied like, "yup." I make it to the the bar- find my car is parked The only problem is, I don't know where the keys are RETARD I would to call a homie, but hey- wouldn'tcha know The phone in my pocket could desperately use a recharge I step into the bar and ask if I can use the phone They were like, "Nate, after we cut you off- where did you go?" Uuugh, man- I really wish I knew, but I don't All I know is I got high and I didn't go home" I called up Teece, I was like, "Ayy, wa**up I'm hungover at the station, please come pick me up My car's out front, but I can't find the keys" He was like, "Dude I took 'em- remember? You tried to leave" "Well, dude- you couldn't gimme a ride?" "Man, I tried, but you left with that fat chick, insisting that you were fine" Noooo God why f** me I ran outside and dry-heaved in the street Who coulda seen? I hope nobody knows I'm beginning to think that I'm outta control I oughtta get it together but I know that I won't That's the way the cookie crumbles, that's life- I suppose So there I sit, basking in shame 'Till Teece pulled up and he laughed in my face He handed me my keys, "Hey, thanks- I gotta go I got high last night and it's time to go home" I'll wake up in a fog- god dang, good god I'll put it all together like "oh-lawd" I hardly ever smoke, it's a fact that I drink Put 'em both together, I'll be yackin' in a sink x2.5